Category: Widows

Joint 70th celebration in May 2019, (Don's was the previous Oct. 8th)

Widowhood – 3 Years In

On By ellenbessoIn Grief, WidowsLeave a comment

People who don’t know a lot about grief think that by three years, a griever has “recovered”, finished grieving her soulmate, and is well on her way towards a “new” life. The surface can appear deceptive…Having completed my move out of the family home into a lovely over 55 complex only one block from our family home, I appear quite settled in my new apartment with its view of the Gibsons’ Harbour on the Pacific Ocean and the North Shore Mountains in the background.

I am developing a volunteer music singalong program at the local Assisted Living place in Upper Gibsons, have re-started my blog and am planning two trips.

Before this I had ideas and made plans in my head, but could not put them into action. I now have motion, and also clarity, as my dear friend Urszula notes.

However as the highs get higher, the accompanying lows are more painful. I delve deeper into myself and my life…seeking to process and release all the old wounds that have arisen as I engage my true path.

As I move further into my new life I am plagued with a kaleidescope of strong emotions…going “up and down like a toilet seat” as my funny mother used to say…different from one day to the next…even one hour to the next.

In moments when I feel that I’ll be stuck in this never ending grieving loop forever, I remind myself to engage with spirit…to remember what my guides have told me “We have a plan for you…This move is just the beginning…”

It is a setup for my future.

Love & Light

Ellen

Copyright 2023 Ellen Besso

Ellen Besso is a retired Life Coach, Counsellor & an energy worker. She is the author of An Indian Sojourn: One woman’s spiritual experience of travel & volunteering, and Surviving Eldercare: Where their needs end & yours begin, both available through Amazon. Ellen is currently working on a book about her partner’s illnesses, his transition & the myriad forms of contact they have had since Don left this planet.

Another Heroic Task of Widowhood Completed

On By ellenbessoIn Grief, Widows1 Comment

My most recent, heroic widow’s task completed, I move on to my next. The move was a large scale one. Our family home was purged, packed and prepared for sale during the first six months of this year. Hedges were trimmed, decks power washed, old appliances replaced. Staying in our lovely home, with all its memories was no longer an option; in September of 2022 my spirit clearly told me it was time to leave.

The process was painful…every item had powerful memories attached to it after our family lived 33 years in Gibsons on the West Coast of Canada and I spent 43 years with my dear soulmate Don, until his transition in August of 2020. Separating from the large, treed property was harder than moving out of the house. I am intimately connected with each plant in the yard; some flowers were there when we arrived and others I planted over the years.

The young couple who bought our place feel blessed; they are exactly the right people to live there I felt as I turned it over to them. Our home and property is in good hands.

The move smoothly completed and my new home arranged, I now rest before my next heroic task. Becoming (relatively) settled two months before the third anniversary of Don’s transition is a good and healthy thing. I feel it in my bones and gut.

It took me a while to feel into what my soul needs to do on August 7th, that very special day. We celebrated Don many times soon after he left us and gathered friends at our home for the first and second anniversaries, as suggested in Alan Wolfelt’s soulmate book. We will mark the day this time with a quiet prayer-meditation gathering of local DLSF folks in my living room.

We journey on together.

Love & Light

Ellen

Copyright 2023 Ellen Besso

Ellen Besso is a retired Life Coach, Counsellor & an energy worker. She is the author of An Indian Sojourn: One woman’s spiritual experience of travel & volunteering, and Surviving Eldercare: Where their needs end & yours begin, both available through Amazon. Ellen is currently working on a book about her partner’s illnesses, his transition & the myriad contact they have had since Don left this planet.