Reprinted in its entirety with permission from Matt’s organization. This is one worth noting. Check out Matt’s website below.

Love & Light

Ellen

Dear Beautiful,

Whether it’s noticed as a rumbling of deeply buried emotions, the sense that everyone around you is on edge and about to explode, or just a feeling off from your known sensations of alignment, there is no doubt that something big is going down on planet Earth. At this moment, the majority of energies that create feelings of being off kilter is the gravitational force of our planet literally shifting into 5D consciousness.

While many people have grandiose notions of what life will be like on a 5D Earth, many overlook the sacred milestones that let us know that such a shift is underway.

No matter how hard you work to stay positive, remain centered, or be as present as possible, such activities employ the ego to do the busy work, while often perceiving moments of ‘feeling off’ as some sort of punishment or indication that enough work has yet to be done. This is why in the new spiritual paradigm, endless spiritual busy work is replaced with authentic self-care. Such self-care won’t guarantee specific outcomes, but it will transform your daily experiences — out of the brink of despair and into the light of true emotional freedom.

In understanding the inner workings of alchemy, feelings of displacement indicate movement, whether occurring on a physical, emotional, or energetic level. Movement, whether the movement of thought, the changing of your emotions, or even the birth and death of each passing moment acts as the evidence of change in motion. If run by a spiritual ego, you are likely to perceive the alchemical movements of change in action as proof of feeling off. Once defined as a problem or a less than desirable experience, your ego will work hard to change your experience, even though that may not be anything close to what you need to face, heal, and process in any given moment. Then, when the ego cannot decisively shift your experience out of the ‘offness’ you perceive, it creates a bigger enemy out of what is merely the evidence of your highest evolution in progress.

While your ego has the right to dislike any way in which this process unfolds, it doesn’t mean your energy field has malfunctioned or is less aligned with the Universe.

It’s simply a matter of undergoing a radical awakening process, where your ego is being stripped of its imagined sense of control, while it works diligently to control the nature of your experience. As we learn to relax our nervous system through extensive breath work, authentic self love, daily entries in a gratitude journal, along with many other facets of self-care, we are able to cultivate a vibration of consciousness that allows the nervous system to remain relaxed, even when the tumultuous terrain of change is occurring. As your nervous system learns to welcome change and even be excited about change, instead of intimidated by it, there become fewer and fewer messages sent to your ego asking it to save you from what is truly your highest expansion under way.

The ego is often a forgetful homeowner, who chases construction workers off its property, forgetting the crew was hired to rebuild the home that once dwelled on a plot of land. In the same way, your ego attempts to undo all the healing underway, just so you can feel more immediate relief, even though it truly plays no part in how, why, and what you manifest. Gone are the days where you needed to live every moment in some fantasy of alignment, as if the Universe is waiting for your most incredible spiritual performance before giving you the things that are already destined to be.

When not blinded by the ego’s insistence on what should happen, when it should happen, and why, you are able to see high vibration as an awareness of this process, which makes it so much easier and far more magical to get through. Whereas, in a low vibration, there is less awareness of a divine plan, which makes it nearly instinctive to believe in perceptions of fear, struggle, doubt, scarcity, and separation.

The more we allow ‘feeling off’ to be the vital proof that we are expanding into 5D consciousness, the less controlling the ego tends to be, as your nervous system relaxes in the presence of existential progress. When ‘feeling off’ can be a tangible sign of huge energetic processes being worked out in you and throughout the planet, you are able to see through the veil of fear and step beyond the threshold of superstition once and for all.

When ‘feeling off’ doesn’t remind you of how misaligned you are, but simply reflects how much self care is needed to support the huge leaps in consciousness being made on a daily, weekly, and monthly basis, you will have outsmarted even the spiritual ego with the wisdom that only unconditional love may know.

You may not like how it feels and you may not know where any of this is headed, but you most certainly couldn’t ever be off course, unless your personal agenda differs from the divine plan of Universal will. It’s not wrong to’ feel off’. It’s a sign of massive expansions under way. The question is, can you allow yourself to relax and welcome in this depth of healing, even when it doesn’t feel the way you desire?

These feelings won’t last forever. Life most certainly will get better and will most likely begin to shift once ‘feeling off’, triggered, resistant, defensive or shut down is not wrong to experience in any way. Once its not against the spiritual law to feel exactly as you do, you will have created the proper space and perspective to tune into your needs and assist in the healing progress — now that any part of your healing is no longer being judged.

May the love of Source carry you forward and walk you home through the loving presence I transmit — from my heart to yours.

All For Love
Matt

http://www.mattkahn.org

My friend Dr. Dolma had arrived in Canada three weeks previously, having immigrated from India at the end of May. We were on our way to Parkdale in the west end of Toronto, where many Tibetan folks live.

A transit worker misinformed us and we climbed the subways stairs at University and Queen to find ourselves enmeshed in a mob of parade goers. Not having been in a mob situation before, I did not think of retreating back down the subway steps, but pushed forward onto the sidewalk.

After about 3/4 of an hour trapped in a mass of pushing bodies, moving a few inches forward, then stopping, the press slowly tightening as time passed, a giant man close by noticed our struggles and offered to open the gate to let us through, into the Osgood Hall Law School lawn. Naturally the gate was locked, so this dear man offered to help us climb the eight foot wrought iron fence. Desperate to escape and worried about a stampede, we agreed. Young men were climbing and jumping down from the top; apparently one broke his leg in the fall, and saw him taken away by security men.

Dr. Dolma went first, boosted up by the big guy, then I climbed after her.   After being pushed by the large guy and pulled up by a small man at the top, I sat atop the high fence, straddling a large  spike, making it difficult to turn. The men helped me turn while Dolma attempted to twist my other foot around! Eventually I was ready to descend, and asked two young men below me to help. They willingly complied.

We were now in a much better place, and relaxed on the grass of Osgood Hall. But we had very little water or food; it was a hot day, and the crowds were too thick to leave the area. The parade was just beginning, several hours behind schedule. We roamed over to City Hall where the elite were sitting in an outdoor restaurant and the parade was being shown on big screens.

After an hour and a half the crowds were beginning to thin as the parade had turned off University Avenue, and we were able to make our way south on University to Richmond, then east towards restaurants. Finally we settled on an all day breakfast place, where we were seated quickly. There was a screen showing the festivities at City Hall, but no volume, all very civilized, unlike some other food places. “That’s what we were trying for”, the woman at the desk told me as we were leaving.

We were not out of the woods yet though. Things got worse before we reached Dolma’s downtown apartment. As we walked north on Yonge street, young men and women ran screaming up the middle of the road. We had no idea what was going on and ducked into a women’s clothing store, for ten minutes, then continued on up Yonge Street towards Dundas. Again the same thing happened, so into Shoppers Drug Mart we went, along with about fifteen other folks. After a short while the security guard told us they were locking down the store, and we must all leave.

By now my friend had found out about the shootings at City Hall. Not understanding that we were now several blocks away from there, she was quite afraid.  Taking her arm, we quickly walked the few blocks to the family apartment, where the rest of the family and my husband had gathered. (Later we heard there were also knifings outside the Eaton Centre. No one was killed during either incident.)

The fallout from these events was traumatic for both of us. Dolma and her husband had always looked after us on our India visits, and I felt a duty to do the same for her in her new country. Although I could not have foreseen any of the events that occurred, it bothered me that I got her into this mess!

Three days after the event, on our last evening visiting the family, Dolma and I were able to do some EMDR work together, with positive results. Dolma told me she felt safe and peaceful afterwards.

I was not quite so fortunate, and suffered an extremely brief TIA, (mini stroke), 10 days after the event, back home in Gibsons. All my tests, both in the ER that evening and subsequently, came out fine, with the exception of my high cholesterol.

After the TIA I received several powerful healings: First the Divine Love energy coming through at my prayer group; Reiki afterwards from three group members, including powerful energy entering my head through the medium of Al, our group leader; gentle pressure point therapy from my chiropractor, dear Dr. Shahnaz, one of my “healing goddesses”, to stabilize my blood pressure and kundalini energy, and finally an EMDR session from a close friend.

Resolution of a Past Life. Something quite unexpected happened during my session, co-led by the two of us. We were unable to complete the resource installation, meant to “facilitate the development of internal resources in clients”. Suddenly I realized in that third eye, “knowing way” that the admittedly bizarre experiences Dolma and I had on the day of the parade, mimicked a past life experience for the two of us. My friend also intuitively knew this.

Immediately I noticed a change in my energy field, I felt calmer and more grounded. I knew on a deep level that it was a lifetime when we had been males, perhaps brothers, and had to escape from a threatening situation, possibly during a war. This information allowed me to release that past life, an important one I intuited, and to also detach some from Dolma, my “Tibetan sister”.

The trip to Toronto was demanding in many ways, and very fulfilling also. Each aspect of it was an important part of my process. (See Back to My Toronto Roots)

After a nineteen year absence I went back to Toronto in June with my partner. It wasn’t the city itself or my remaining relatives that drew me back, rather we went to welcome our closest Tibetan friends to Canada from Dharamsala India. But the results of the trip were quite unexpected.

We are their “Canadian family”, and we promised to fly to Toronto to greet them after their arrival. Ten days after they landed we were sitting in the living room of their apartment in the downtown area, having walked a considerable way in pouring rain to get there, the subways and streetcars not running. (Between the fire on the east-west line that evening, with riders being evacuated through the tunnel, frequent breakdowns, police incidents and scheduled weekend maintenance, it felt like there were closures daily).

On the surface, our friends appeared to have transplanted themselves rather quickly from their small apartment in Dharamsala to the large one in Toronto, lovingly prepared for them by their father, who had been awaiting them for three years. The teenage boys came and went from the home, exploring and playing pickup basketball, much like they had done at home. Highly motivated, they lost no time applying for government cards and taking ESL tests. But of course it was early days, and their hearts were still in India.

Our first of several visits to the family lasted about twenty-four hours! With the rain and subway problems, we were invited to stay overnight and accepted, putting the boys out of their room. They didn’t seem to mind, and we slept peacefully in the apartment that was already imbued with the gentle, prayerful Buddhist energy of the family.

Toronto is known as “the city of neighbourhoods”, with 140 separate areas. Our base was in the Dupont and Christie area, west of the Annex, a bus and two subway rides away from the family. It was a lovely B&B on a quiet, tree lined street in a very old area of Toronto.

When I graduated from University in my early twenties I lived in that area of the city, and enjoyed the feel of being in the “real” city, rather than living in a suburb. There was more character in the neighbourhood, I felt, and we even had a theatre down a back lane a few blocks from our flat where Sunday was “pay what you can” matinee.

What made our recent stay in the area especially meaningful to me was that both my parents grew up in the neighbourhood. I was very familiar with the names of all the main streets from my mother’s many stories throughout my childhood. Several generations of her family lived in a big old house on Barton Avenue from the time they immigrated to Canada from Wales in 1929, until they married and bought their own homes. I spent the first fourteen months of my life in that house. We didn’t get a chance to go there on this trip, but will next time.

Learning to navigate the subways again and getting used to the crowds and noise was our first task. We walked miles each day, to access restaurants, buses and subways and our Tibetan friends’ home. The walking I did was way beyond my normal capacity, particularly with the old foot injury that had arisen a month earlier. I believe I was helped by the Grandmothers and other angel guides, to push myself past my normal limits. Also, my “magic” compression socks were a big help.

We found many Toronto residents to be helpful with directions, and the crowds were remarkably peaceful on the buses and subways. We enjoyed high quality jazz music in the subway stations. There was no edginess in the air like in Vancouver, although the city is many times larger. Many cyclists travelled to work daily through our neighbourhood on the north-south route of Shaw Street. The city and its inhabitants had worked hard to ensure that pedestrians came first, cyclists second and cars last, our friend told us, also quite different from Vancouver.

During the long gap between visits my link to the city and to my family had felt tenuous, but going back this time I experienced a deep satisfaction on reconnecting with my roots, both those of place and of people.

We visited two cousins, both within five years of my age, and that brought back many memories. The first cousin, who has lived alone since leaving her parents’ home, lived through a tragedy as a child, when her brother, older by three years, died. Simply seeing her, being in her home and seeing a picture of her, her brother and mom, taken during his last summer, was very poignant.

Our seventeen days in Toronto were very rich, packed with new activities and people almost daily. The trip was challenging physically and emotionally, but very wonderful. We had just the right amount of time to do most things we wanted to do. The entire visit, with the exception of meeting and welcoming our newly arrived Tibetan friends,  was a trip down memory lane for me.

There was one blot on the visit, when I took my Tibetan friend out on the day of the Raptors’ Parade, Monday, June 17th, four days before we left town. We were both traumatized by the experiences we had that day. That will be the topic of my next blog.

Ellen & Don’s Cake, (Don turned 70 last October but did not have a party)

Turning 70 last weekend was rather shocking! When I arose the morning of my birthday, I walked into the kitchen and saw a birthday card that said Happy 70th on it. I wondered whose birthday it was!

Some people try to forget this aging thing is happening, ignoring or minimizing big birthdays; some say it’s only a number; others of us try to embrace it. To those who say it’s only a number, I say, “Don’t talk to me about this if you’re still in your 40’s!  “Yes, it’s a number, one that is bringing us nearer to our transition into spirit, so how do we want to go forward?”

The day began with my free birthday breakfast and drink at our local pub with my partner and daughter, one that included a mimosa. My version of a morning mimosa turned out to be about one ounce of bubbly in a glass of orange juice, with the rest of the small bottle carried home for later use.

Then lots of prep for the birthday drop-in. There were four of us to chop veges and put out food so we were well well prepared when our first guests arrived one and a half hours early! No problem.

Our four hour party evolved into a 6 and a half hour one, but my energy lasted well as I was totally in the flow. The Universe blessed us with warm sunny weather, and the house cleaning was all for nought, as we all sat out on the deck and visited. It was a mellow afternoon for everyone. I knew I was surrounded by angels the entire time, and this loving support lasted for a couple of days.

Now I am more conscious about calling on my angels, to create that spiritual cocoon more often. Like many of us I have the tools but don’t always use them. “Pray Without Ceasing”, as I called it in a previous blog, is a habit we create and build on over time.

Having my friends and family witness my 70th birthday helped me to internallize it. For a couple of months now I have had the sense that turning 70 is the beginning of a new, vibrant phase of my life. Although still challenging, my kundalini process is more subtle, more balanced now, and has recently opened me to creativity and possibilities, and with that, a feeling of moving forward into my future. It’s a time for travel and for strengthening my body after the long period of kundalini processing.

Why do I call this Phase 3? It’s a subjective choice I made without giving it a great deal of thought. Phase 1 was growing up, going to school, my first marriage, (the one that “didn’t take”, as I reference it.) Phase 2 was meeting Don and having a family, our rich life together. Phase 3 means the time to live joyfully, to do what calls to me (and us).

Living joyfully in this new phase of life will entail following the calling of my heart and the guidance of my spirit guides. It’s been a year since our last trip, the Net of Light Gathering in Joshua Tree, California, but it feels much longer. Time, a man made concept, took on a different flavour for me as I did my internal work, releasing so much. For a time I couldn’t see any forward moving, didn’t want to travel or do all that much. Don was in his own process of adjusting to retirement after many years as a land surveyor including twelve or thirteen as a business owner.

Now, in a different phase of my kundalini process, and with a growing awareness of the hour glass emptying, I am not satisfied to sit still. There is a growing feeling of “the sky’s the limit” with respect to opportunities both abroad and at home. I am “re-setting” myself as I move forward in my life – not “re-tiring”.

Author’s Note: Sadly Ellen’s soulmate Don transitioned from this life two months before his 72nd birthday. Ellen is learning to “Fly Solo”