Rebound: “To recover from setback “…” To improve”…To spring back as if on collision”

The last definition is most fitting for me. When you lose your soulmate you are in an ongoing collision. Your collision with death has caused a collapse of life as you know it…your entire existence is in question.

In September of 2022, shortly after the second anniversary of Don’s departure, I achieved sudden clarity about selling our longtime family home. My intention was so clear and strong that a friend sensed it as she passed by the house on the back lane. Thus a new leg of my journey to rebuilding my life began.

The fourth year of flying solo was taken up with this decision, as I prepared the house for sale and searched for a new home. Nine months later, two months before the third anniversary, I moved into my new place, a cozy suite with a view of the Pacific Ocean and North Shore mountains, in an intricately designed Over 55 strata, just one block from our home.

That summer my friend and I began making plans for a winter trip to a small Mexican town north of Puerto Vallarta. My search for suitable accommodation was stressful as my shopping list was quite specific. After several weeks of networking with helpful Mexican folks, I was able to book a suite in a small casita in the centre of town for one month.

This lovely home away from home proved to be exactly the right place for me during this, my maiden voyage to Mexico, as my friend was unable to join me due to a physical setback. The other residents of the casita were friendly and welcoming, the women supportive of my situation. Bucerias was the right choice, both safe and familiar as we had visited the town several times over thirty years.

Days passed slowly in the relaxed atmosphere of the casita and the town with afternoons often spent by the pool and occasional trips over the nearby bridge to the brighter, busier Mexican part of town, where I met another solo traveller from the interior of BC. Three other widowed folks arrived at our small casita over the weeks I was there and their friendliness and shared experience was a comfort.

At times I felt sad, but the warm, congenial atmosphere of the town embraced me, and I was happy to be there. My daughter’s arrival the fourth week was a welcome interlude.

On my return home I recovered slowly from a flu caught in week three. It was a healing crisis as well, I sensed. As my counsellor suggested, I was always aware on some level that Don was not by my side in Mexico, and I felt this manifested in the sickness/healing crisis.

Not one to be easily deterred, I feel strongly about continuing my winter trips to Mexico, an important part of my new life, giving myself at least three winters to establish a base, make friends and volunteer. I will go farther south next year, to Melaque, a place we enjoyed twenty years ago. Although changed over time, it is quieter and somewhat more traditional. I found a colourful Mexican hotel that resonates with me and have booked in for two months next year. Synchronicity is at work once again; one of the men in my complex just returned from spending three months at that hotel, his third year there!

Love & Light

Ellen

Copyright 2024 Ellen Besso

Ellen Besso is a retired Life Coach, Counsellor & an energy worker. She is the author of An Indian Sojourn: One woman’s spiritual experience of travel & volunteering, and Surviving Eldercare: Where their needs end & yours begin, both available through Amazon. Ellen is currently working on a book about her partner’s illnesses, his transition to spirit, & the many forms of contact they have had since Don left this planet.