PROLOGUE

In late 2018 signs began to appear that all was not as it should be. Don began to have short fainting spells, usually after craning his neck or bending up and down. These dissipated after our family doctor told him to drink water first thing in the morning to stabilize his blood pressure, something I had always emphasized after overnight dehydration, not aware of the blood pressure link. Don had spoken of short term memory issues for some time, however he was able to engage with people in his usual upbeat way.

On an unconscious level I knew something was wrong, that something was “coming down the pipe.” And I’m sure Don did also.

We had a year’s reprieve, during that time we celebrated our joint 70th birthdays with close friends on a warm May afternoon, the actual day of my birthday and seven months after Don’s. A month later we took a very special trip to Toronto, our birthplace, Don’s last visit. I hadn’t been there for 19 years myself and we revelled in seeing friends and family, and for me, staying in the neighbourhood my parents grew up in in, called The Annex.

The reason for the trip at this time, and the highlight of it, was visiting our closest Tibetan friends, Doctors of Tibetan medicine, and their three children, in Downtown Toronto. The Mom and kids had arrived from India only 10 days before, after the Dad spent three years settling in and waiting for his family.

Less than six months after this trip the bad news began. An Alzheimers diagnosis that should have come a year earlier, late due to medical neglect and our distraction, confirmed Don’s worry about his failing short term memory in November of 2019.

After our usual large Christmas gathering with friends from five different countries we went to Mexico for five weeks, our last trip together and Don’s last Christmas. The trip was different from our usual ones, stressful because of a couple of odd health issues on Don’s part and my determination to maintain Don’s Alzheimer’s program, meant to maintain his equilibrium.

Two and a half months after our return in mid February of 2020 we received Don’s cancer diagnosis, several masses in his abdomen and metastasis in his liver. Don was terminally ill. Our daughter, myself, other family members and friends were in a daze as things went rapidly downhill from there. Don left us ten weeks later.

He began to contact me almost immediately. “I had to leave”, [my body], he told me when he appeared to me at our bedroom door two days after his physical death. I “saw him” dressed in his blue India travelling pants and his new Mexican shirt. Since that time he has contacted me in almost every way possible for spirits to connect.

Now our connection is more subtle usually, except on special days. Don was very present during the recent Net of Light retreat in New Mexico. Both my friend and I were aware of his tall presence in the session room.

“You’re living on a different plane now”, Sharon McErlane from Net of Light told me after Don’s physical death. My chiropractor and friend, a wise Parsi woman said virtually the same thing: “Your marriage is in a new dimension”.

I have continued to slowly heal and rebuild my life in many ways over the past three plus years, digging deeper into myself, seeking grounding and spiritual support.

Love & Light

Ellen

Copyright 2023 Ellen Besso

Ellen Besso is a retired Life Coach, Counsellor & an energy worker. She is the author of An Indian Sojourn: One woman’s spiritual experience of travel & volunteering, and Surviving Eldercare: Where their needs end & yours begin, both available through Amazon. Ellen is currently working on a book about her partner’s illnesses, his transition to spirit, & the many forms of contact they have had since Don left this planet.