Gibsons’ Return with New Intentions

For over five years I’ve been trying to work out how to live my life here in beautiful Gibsons BC without my soulmate Don.

Before I left home in January, I experienced an aha moment. In some ways I have been keeping myself small here at home…clinging to parts of the life I had before with Don. Perhaps to honour Don’s memory. Mostly not giving myself full permission to move on. But that does not serve either of us.

In Mexico I can be more myself in some ways, more outgoing. Both the climate and the people are warm and welcoming. Best of all, it’s not Gibsons with its 35 years of memories.

It was a hard landing coming back home. I was depleted on all levels on arrival, having had no chiropractic treatment for several months and experiencing the high stress of the cartel murder and subsequent violence throughout the state of Jalisco, too close to our beach community for comfort .

The trek home, beginning at 1 pm Thursday the 5th of March in Melaque and culminating at 1 am in Vancouver, (3 am in my body with the 2 hour time difference), was exhausting, and involved long walks in both the Calgary and Vancouver airports. The weather returning to the Coast the next day felt frigid and the damp seeped into my body. And I hate to say it but my age is finally beginning to impact me.

I had visions of working up to six months in Mexico each year, to escape the weather and my life at home. But I realize now that wouldn’t suit me. Perhaps with a partner to hang out with and/or volunteer work like my music friends Jack & Sharon I would feel different about it.

I had to take longer trips to Mexico to realize that one month may be the optimum time for me. I will know more over time.

This is my home. My life is here farther north beside the same ocean. It is the best place for me with my history of 35 years of connections and my daughter across the water in Vancouver. Living for a few special weeks once a year in Mexico isn’t healthy. After all, I am basically a Taurean homebody.

My goal is not to backslide into keeping myself small…to forge ahead with all my interests, old and new, meeting new people, enjoying my singing performances and attending live music events.

In order to do this I am allowing Spirit to lead me more and more instead of pushing my agenda…asking Spirit to embrace and support my plans instead. This is working and I do feel more in the flow now.

I love Mexico. What happened there on February 22nd and the ensuing violence impacted me, but will not stop me returning there. I grieve for the lovely Mexican people who live their lives each day impacted by the ubiquitous and insidious cartel activity all over their country.

However my home and life is in Gibsons, I now realize, and I do not need to escape it. Although I will still enjoy Mexico for a month or so each winter, I plan to embrace my life here more fully, to really be here and not long for elsewhere.

My goal is to bring what I’ve learned about myself in my travels over the past years to my life here. Each time I return I have changed, in positive ways for the most part.

Melaque

My daughter and I were welcomed with open arms by our hotel family and the Tito restaurant family on our arrival in Melaque on January 16th. I have never before experienced such a warm homecoming. And that’s what it was…a coming home…a return to this warm, comfortable friendly Mexican beach community. Mexico calls to me. It calls me back again and again. The energies of the country and it’s beautiful people permeate my being.

Bronwen and I enjoyed our two weeks together, exploring the town centre and spending most of our time in our small, village like beach community. My daughter enjoyed the beauty, the water and the peace, and plans to return again with a friend and her mom.

My experience of the place was different from last year, as expected. That magical two months could not be reproduced as I knew… and I had changed in the meantime.

The open mic singing opportunities remained, and I sang several times at the Tuesday evening Jack & Friends events. Never having the opportunity to practice with Jack, sometimes my performance, accompanied by Jack and two others, turned out very well; once it was such an embarrassment for both of us I returned the next Tuesday for an encore, this time a successful accapella version of Summertime.

Time moved on lazily in our beachfront community, then, three weeks after my daughter left, on Sunday February 22nd, El Mencho, the head of the largest Mexican cartel, Jalisco New Generation Cartel, and one of the largest in the world, was fatally shot by the Mexican Army. The entire state of Jalisco, where I was located, and some adjoining states, went on Red Alert Lockdown. We were told to shelter in place.

We were relatively safe in Melaque, 30 minutes from Manzanillo, particularly on the West Beach. But the violence was a bit too close for comfort, with the road between La Manzanillo and Barra, on the other side of the Bay, blocked by a burning vehicle. Also there were attacks in Cihuatlan, an inland town half an hour from us.

Traditionally, the cartels do not attack beach towns, but with the fatal shooting of this major cartel figure, Puerto Vallarta was the exception, the epicentre of the violence.

The next leg of my trip was to the mountains outside Guadalajara. My planned departure was only one week after the uproar. I was to take a five hour bus ride on the highway from Melaque to Guadalajara. The trip did not feel right, so I sadly opted to put off my trip to Ajijic for another time.

** More about what happened in Mexico, the possible longer term ramifications of it for the beautiful Mexican Nationals, and my personal experience in my next blog.**

Love & Light

Ellen

Copyright 2026 Ellen Besso

PS I returned to Canada on March 5th, 4 days after my intended trip to the mountains near Guadalajara and 11 days after the violent event in Mexico.

Melaque Magic Update

“This is what you came here for, to change your life”. The Grandmothers

On the plane to Mexico on January 9th a strange thought crossed my mind: “I’m going home”. “What, I just left home”, I said to myself. I did not know what was coming but the magic began that very evening on the beach.

While most friends seemed to appreciate my profound experience of the first evening, when Don subtly emerged through the beach portal in West Melaque, I felt something was missing.

The spiritual experience of that evening set the tone for the next two months. The healing energy of the sand and water, listening to and performing music, meeting Mexican families and making new friendships all came together to catalyze my internal change.

My days settled into a comfortable routine: My morning ritual was a walk on the Malecon boardwalk followed by coffee under a beach umbrella, served to me by the lovely Tito, owner, along with his wife, of Tito’s Place, where everything began the night of my arrival. The sound of the waves hitting the shore and the fascinating soaring birds transported me.

Reviewing my journal notes from spring 2024, I noticed my guides had told me that my first solo Mexican trip that winter “was the start of a massive change”. The latest trip, I now realize, was a transcendent experience.

“A transcendent experience, however you arrive at it, is like a portal that opens, inviting you to walk through”, Anita Moorjani, known for her powerful near death experience, writes. Once opened, it never closes, Moorjani goes on to say, so the clarity of wisdom never disappears.

As my time in Melaque drew to an end it felt like time to return home, although I was not fully ready to leave this special place, the backdrop for transformation, where I discovered a sense of peace within.

Never have I experienced such a long and laborious re-entry from travels, not even after my first trip to India, where I have lived many past lives. This was a different experience, not so much an awareness of having lived in Melaque in the past as it was simply being caught up in the special energetic flow of the area.

During Don’s and my visit to the town in 2001 we made two brief visits to Tito’s for margaritas. Tito remembered Don from that time when he saw his picture. Because of that long ago time in Melaque I felt compelled to return this year and it proved to be an experience of deep healing. The peace I found there allowed me to dive deep into myself.

My open mic singing, (somehow encouraged by Don during the portal experience), was an important part of my spiritual shift in Mexico, and it took starting to sing open mic at the Legion here in Gibsons to finally bring me full circle, back to my permanent home.

A curious thing happened during my first Legion visit. Since I was nervous, I decided to pretend I was in Melaque, walking into the Legion, ordering a mug of Mexican draft beer and settling myself in the song circle.

My song choices were pieces I had sung in Mexico, “The Rose” and “They Call the Wind Maria”. I gave it my all, and received positive feedback from the other musicians. It was almost like I transferred my experience of singing in Mexico and the confidence and the energy of it to this new venue.

This week we sang The Rose at my ukelele group, and although not soloing, I had a similar experience…as if I was somehow channelling the energy of Melaque into and through the song.

Don came to the Melaque beach to help me move forward…to open more to life, I sense. He was very much with me in that beach community the entire two months I was there. His encouragement to take my music seriously helps me with my overall change.

Yet another level of our physical separation occurred, catalyzed by the portal experience. Our energetic soul connection will never be severed after many lifetimes together.

Melaque was not a “time out of time” experience, it was my life for two very real months. It cannot be reproduced…it can, however be built upon, a new starting out point for me.

Solo Travelling

This two month trip to Melaque Mexico was guided. I felt compelled to go there, to the place Don and I had visited so long ago in 2001. I did not know why I was going, just that I needed to.

I was nervous about the trip for several weeks before leaving, sensing something important was about to happen. My intuition was correct; the sojourn there was remarkable, more uplifting than I had ever imagined.

Beginning the first evening at Tito’s Restaurant on the beach in West Melaque, the magic never stopped. I wrote about my uplifting portal experience that night in a blog called Don Softly Returns and will write more about the depth of it soon. The experience nudged me into singing open mic inside Tito’s the next afternoon, something I had not done before.

My singing over the next two months, the many new friendships and the first night’s profound experience all made my time in Melaque a rich spiritual experience. The town is a special place where many folks return year after year. I sense the energy draws them, perhaps on an unconscious level. The West beach area is particularly uplifting, but the entire town seems to have maintained the mellow vibe we noticed on our first visit 24 years ago.

I needed to travel by myself, that was key to the spiritual shift that happened. Solo travel, while providing a certain freedom, is not for everyone. It takes a certain type of person, a particular personality if you will, to travel alone. I know other women who do this, they are in relationships and also travel alone.

“Loneliness is part of travelling alone” says a well travelled neighbour. Although I was encompassed by the soft, healing energy of the West Melaque Beach and enjoyed time with numerous new friends and acquaintances, I was at all times conscious that I was alone in a deeper sense. Thirty years of travelling as a family and later in a couple had not prepared me for this.

I have travelled alone before for shorter times. Last February’s trip to Bucerias Mexico was not meant to be a solo trip, however my friend had to cancel about ten days before the leaving date. That trip worked out quite well as my small, five unit casita was populated by friendly folks and I met a couple of other women in cafes. In Toronto, although alone, I have friends and relatives to visit with.

I learned a lot about myself and about others during this time alone. It took me a while, but finally I understood that in order to connect with others some commonalities may be needed. The small group that returned annually to the hotel were close friends over many years, some knew each other from 20 years in Vancouver. They were like a club, friendly enough, however I was the outsider, and the only single woman amongst men and couples during the first month of my stay. The multiple daily communal visits, involving for the most part male driven conversation, were not what I wanted I realized after trying to fit in for awhile.

I found my tribe through music, both with other musicians and the audience of family and friends, and with women with shared experience and interests. My friend from Texas, a holistic and spiritual woman, was a new widow, staying in a hotel near mine. A common art interest was shared with another new friend from the collage course at Centro de Arte y Cultura in the town centre.

At this point I am not planning to take such a lengthy trip by myself, although it’s hard to say, as plans seem to change rapidly these days.

My Small Melaque World

The small beach community I called home for two months extends in one direction as far as I can walk without going along the beach or onto the hot streets, past the karaoke venue around the corner from Hotel Bahia and ending at Leovy Restaurant with its bamboo and rattan umbrellas. In the other direction it reaches the top of the Malecon boardwalk, about one and a half miles long, I overheard someone say.

My morning begins with a walk on the Malecon, all the way to the end if its not too hot, then coffee under a beach umbrella, served to me by Tito…if Tito is there the restaurant is open.

I sip my morning java while listening to the waves and watching the beauty of the unfolding morning, staying until I become too warm or my body insists it’s time to move. Forty pesos is a miniscule price for this uplifting experience.

From time to time I venture down the beach or into town for music or to my favourite breakfast place. Melaque has retained its simple Mexican tourist town feel, although busier now. The town centre is bustling and fun, quite different from the West Melaque beach energy, the friendly folk at Tito’s Restaurant where we eat and where the open mic shows take place.

Towards the middle of February things begin to change. While a few Canadian and American visitors prefer a late vacation, the long term folks at my hotel begin drifting home. Fewer musicians appear at the Tuesday evening “Jack and Friends” open mic, and the audience shrinks. I keep performing, Jack’s glad to have me I think, some of the other women singers have left, returning to jobs in Canada.

Only a quarter of the rooms at the hotel are occupied now. Short term visitors, mostly Mexican weekenders, will occupy the place from now on the manager tells me.

Last weekend the controversial new “big city” Mexican hotel at the end of the beach was fully occupied by busloads of middle class looking Mexicans from out of town. Other Mexican visitors have settled in for the day at Tito’s beach tables, with carryalls of food and bathing paraphernalia and the ubiquitous giant Coca Cola bottles.

The six month visitors like my music mentor Jack and his partner are still in residence until sometime in April, and the transplanted expats remain. Another great winter season is coming to an end.

Maiden Voyage

Rebound: “To recover from setback “…” To improve”…To spring back as if on collision”

The last definition is most fitting for me. When you lose your soulmate you are in an ongoing collision. Your collision with death has caused a collapse of life as you know it…your entire existence is in question.

In September of 2022, shortly after the second anniversary of Don’s departure, I achieved sudden clarity about selling our longtime family home. My intention was so clear and strong that a friend sensed it as she passed by the house on the back lane. Thus a new leg of my journey to rebuilding my life began.

The fourth year of flying solo was taken up with this decision, as I prepared the house for sale and searched for a new home. Nine months later, two months before the third anniversary, I moved into my new place, a cozy suite with a view of the Pacific Ocean and North Shore mountains, in an intricately designed Over 55 strata, just one block from our home.

That summer my friend and I began making plans for a winter trip to a small Mexican town north of Puerto Vallarta. My search for suitable accommodation was stressful as my shopping list was quite specific. After several weeks of networking with helpful Mexican folks, I was able to book a suite in a small casita in the centre of town for one month.

This lovely home away from home proved to be exactly the right place for me during this, my maiden voyage to Mexico, as my friend was unable to join me due to a physical setback. The other residents of the casita were friendly and welcoming, the women supportive of my situation. Bucerias was the right choice, both safe and familiar as we had visited the town several times over thirty years.

Days passed slowly in the relaxed atmosphere of the casita and the town with afternoons often spent by the pool and occasional trips over the nearby bridge to the brighter, busier Mexican part of town, where I met another solo traveller from the interior of BC. Three other widowed folks arrived at our small casita over the weeks I was there and their friendliness and shared experience was a comfort.

At times I felt sad, but the warm, congenial atmosphere of the town embraced me, and I was happy to be there. My daughter’s arrival the fourth week was a welcome interlude.

On my return home I recovered slowly from a flu caught in week three. It was a healing crisis as well, I sensed. As my counsellor suggested, I was always aware on some level that Don was not by my side in Mexico, and I felt this manifested in the sickness/healing crisis.

Not one to be easily deterred, I feel strongly about continuing my winter trips to Mexico, an important part of my new life, giving myself at least three winters to establish a base, make friends and volunteer. I will go farther south next year, to Melaque, a place we enjoyed twenty years ago. Although changed over time, it is quieter and somewhat more traditional. I found a colourful Mexican hotel that resonates with me and have booked in for two months next year. Synchronicity is at work once again; one of the men in my complex just returned from spending three months at that hotel, his third year there!

Love & Light

Ellen

Copyright 2024 Ellen Besso

Ellen Besso is a retired Life Coach, Counsellor & an energy worker. She is the author of An Indian Sojourn: One woman’s spiritual experience of travel & volunteering, and Surviving Eldercare: Where their needs end & yours begin, both available through Amazon. Ellen is currently working on a book about her partner’s illnesses, his transition to spirit, & the many forms of contact they have had since Don left this planet.

After the Net of Light Ghost Ranch Retreat

I’ve kept a low profile since returning from the life changing Net of Light gathering in New Mexico. It was my second one; Don and I attended one at Joshua Tree Retreat Centre, California in April of 2018. This one was smaller, 60 folks instead of 100, and much deeper.

The attendees were able and ready to work deeply, and the gatherings held in Germany, then Belgium immediately before ours coalesced the energies for our retreat.

It is almost two weeks since I returned from the five day turnaround trip to Ghost Ranch north of Santa Fe, but it feels longer. Minor virus and ear congestion upon my return was followed by dear Don’s 4th birthday anniversary since he departed from us, on October 8th.

My daughter and I skipped a celebration at the home of our dear sponsored Tibetan family from Northeast India in favour of a quiet day together, celebrating both Don’s and Bronwen’s birthday two days after his. This is our lifelong ritual, and we need to maintain it even though he is no longer with us physically.

Now, a week later, I continue to spend most of my time alone, integrating the changes the gathering has wrought upon me. A dog walking gig for 10 days, although demanding, got me outside regularly into the (mostly) sunny and dry West Coast fall.

I sensed that this second retreat would be formative for me, so did my daughter and other friends. It was four days of pure love, as we sang Net of Light/Grandmother songs, danced and connected deeply with the desert and its fore bearers, also the indigenous tribes where we were born and where we live now.

The energy built and we did ancestor work the third day, tapping into both our matriarchal and patriarchal lineages. Many indigenous groups have historically held broader definitions of consciousness and after our ancestor work I am open to receive more.

As two women supported me in my ritual, one on my matriarchal side, one patriarchal, I received a sudden impression of fire, then a third eye “knowing” that some of my celtic Welsh ancestors were burnt as witches.

This experience of travelling back through time has helped me to a greater understanding of Sharon’s shaman travel training, described in her early books.

The biggest gift from the retreat is that the depth of the experience has allowed me to trust the spiritual guidance of the Grandmothers more, to stop the questioning and allow myself to be led.

This town and its people, my spiritual home for over 30 years, has comforted and succoured me over the past three years since I lost my soulmate. I am beginning to get the sense that I no longer need to limit myself, that I will be expanding and visiting more places, using this new home as a jumping off point, a “placeholder”, as the Grandmothers referred to it recently.

As I walked around the neighbourhood one recent afternoon, I met several neighbours from the family house. “Oh, they’re still here” I thought in surprise, as I spoke with Kathy as she weeded her property, and with Michele when she stopped her car in the middle of the street to visit. I hadn’t seen them for weeks, and now that my living experience has change, the town and the neighbourhood seem like a different place. It is time to branch out into my new life.

Now I am beginning to feel hope for my future, something that has been lost to me over the past three years. “It will get better and better” Sharon told me at the end of the retreat. Part of me felt she was saying that to buck me up in the moment…but the woman is a shaman after all, so I believe she was speaking her truth.

Love & Light

Ellen

Copyright 2023 Ellen Besso

Ellen Besso is a retired Life Coach, Counsellor & an energy worker. She is the author of An Indian Sojourn: One woman’s spiritual experience of travel & volunteering, and Surviving Eldercare: Where their needs end & yours begin, both available through Amazon. Ellen is currently working on a book about her partner’s illnesses, his transition to spirit, & the many forms of contact they have had since Don left this planet.

Mexican Vacation – best laid plans etc…

Casa Santa Fe, Puerto MorelosRoyal Decameron, Bucerias

Casa Santa Fe, Puerto Morelos & Royal Decameron Resort, Bucerias

The best laid plans and all that…Our recent Mexican vacation, involving a visit to both the East and West coasts of the country, was a mixed bag. It ended well but we were plagued by many unexpected events almost from the moment we landed in Cancun.

We arrived in Puerto Morelos late in the evening, after a bus ride, then a taxi, thankfully short, as we’d been up since 4 am Vancouver time, and been unable to sleep the night before.

The instructions sent by the real estate agent in charge of our Casa were incorrect and our poor driver ended up at the opposite end of town. We could not reach the agent but fortunately our friend, who winters in the town, answered her cell phone, and was able to give the driver landmarks, and we finally arrived at our simple but lovely Casa.

Our host was not available as she had fallen ill and was hospitalized. All was in order except there were no blankets, and the weather was unseasonably cool and damp. Large, thick beach towels took the place of blankets for the first night, and we were able to get some rest.

Climate change has not spared Mexico, and everyone in town struggled with the high humidity during the first week, with heavy rainfalls, unusual weather for that season. My partner found the weather particularly draining and the medication he was taking made things worse.

The usual Airbnb support was non existent, no referrals to restaurants, tours, etc., but we did okay fending for ourselves. Getting clean sheets and giant water bottle refills was a bit tricky, but the real estate agents came through for us eventually. Other extenuating circumstances led to us moving on a week early, but I will not go into the details out of privacy issues and kindness.

We were quite fortunate to book the next Casa, on the beach, through contacts of our friend. The Canadian owners had de-listed themselves from Airbnb, so they had a vacancy. The accomodation was lovely, and our hosts helpful, but after walking up to one and a half hours daily at the first location, for meals and outings, my old knee injury began to play up.

The new Casa was farther from restaurants and stores, but being the trouper I am I kept walking, what else to do, I had to eat. Eventually I began taking anti inflamatories, then finally booking inexpensive cabs  about half the time.

Although our time in Puerto Morelos was not exactly as expected, we enjoyed our time in the town. Puerto Morelos is a beautiful small town, touristy but kind of mellow. There is easy access to many excellent restaurants by walking or biking, and a variety of Casas. All Inclusive Resorts are outside the town. Friends visited a resort a few weeks later but found it too isolated.

After our three weeks in PM we travelled through Mexico City and on to Puerto Vallarta, to a small town called Bucerias north of PV. This part of our two phase vacation was at an older resort called The Royal Decameron, a colourful lodging on the Atlantic Ocean.

We had visited the resort nine years previously. The demographic had changed somewhat over time; quite a few older people, who came each year, three generation family groupings, and a few younger couples. It’s a good gig for Mexicans and the staff worked hard to please everyone. In the main buffet dining room, many of them saw Spanish lessons as part of there job, and we became friendly with them over time.

The food was fair, apparently not as good since the new owners took over. We found we had to get there early when it was fresh, and as the days went on we became tired of the repetition, and ate more foods from the lovely salad bars.

The specialty restaurants were a treat, but the resort still used the outdated booking system that had been in place nine years earlier! We refused to sit waiting for the booking staff at 7:30 or 8:00 a.m., and managed to have three delicious meals at the Mediterranean and Japanese Restaurants anyway, the first time hanging around outside the Mediterranean restaurant until the Maitre D’ found us a table, the second time walking in to the Japanese restaurant and lucking out, then for the third meal I went to the lobby booking desk and secured a left over late booking.

Our time at the Royal Decameron was fine, but not inspiring. My partner was plagued by an odd, but temporary, shoulder injury and another issue, but on the upside this meant we made friends with the lovely resort medic, Dr. Guzman. My limited walking ability meant I was unable to walk the mile into Bucerias as I’d looked forward to. We had one nice day trip by taxi into Puerto Vallarta, (I pumped myself full of anti inflamatories).

We enjoyed high quality music in the evening, were able to get some swimming in during the last five days when the weather improved, and it was a treat to have everything at hand, particularly food. However All Inclusives aren’t really our preferred way to travel.

Overall, we were glad to get away though, and were fortunate to miss the four snow storms Gibsons experienced during our absence!

Love & Light

Ellen

Copyright 2019 Ellen Besso

Ellen Besso is a Life Coach, Counsellor & an energy worker. She is the author of An Indian Sojourn: One woman’s spiritual experience of travel & volunteering, and Surviving Eldercare: Where their needs end & yours begin, both available through Amazon.

Net of Light Gathering, Joshua Tree, CA, April 2018

In mid April, my partner Don and I travelled to Joshua Tree, Southern California, for the Net of Light gathering. I needed time to process the experience before journalling; here is my attempt to put into words this powerful, ephemeral experience.

We arrived early and settled in at Joshua Tree Retreat Center. The Center is the oldest in North America at 77 years of age and was built by Frank Lloyd Wright and Son, after a unique man named Edwin Dingle, who had studied Eastern philosophy in Tibet, was guided to the land.

I felt honoured to be invited to attend the Beacons, or group leaders’ meeting prior to the gathering, as I planned to start a Net of Light group in my home town after this retreat. Beacons from all over the world attended, several from the Netherlands, some of them group leaders for many years.

The highlight of the meeting was meeting Sharon McErlane in a small group setting. Sharon’s Net of Light organization had grown to 250 groups worldwide over the twenty plus years since the Grandmothers appeared to her on a bluff in Southern California. Sharon told me I had definitely been called to this work.

In the early months of 2017 I had come across the Net of Light website while researching, returning to it repeatedly, not knowing why. I subscribed to Sharon’s newsletter, eventually meeting the Canadian Co-ordinator, Laura in Horseshoe Bay, West Vancouver, our shared ferry terminal.

That afternoon, under the big, old trees in the park by the water, I received my first empowerment, a gentle introduction to the energy of the Grandmothers, meant to connect us to them and to allow us to bring out our unique gifts in a greater way. Things began to change subtly for me after the empowerment, I received nudges and small messages from the Grandmothers that helped me to live more fully and mindfully with an increased level of trust in myself.  I realized the  Grandmothers  had been around me before I knew who they were.

One hundred people attended the Southern California Gathering, ninety women and close to ten men. I had felt the presence of the Grandmothers strongly for two weeks before the gathering, helping me release powerful old held material from deep within myself. At the retreat they filled the room, and indeed the whole property, with a strong, but light energy.

During our four days together we worked both in the larger group and in ten breakout groups. We drummed and sang, calling in the Grandmothers and the Great Mother, casting and strengthening the Net of Light, the great energetic fishnet that holds and heals the planet and us during these difficult times. Sharon and others took us through guided meditations. In the small groups we debriefed and sometimes did exercises.

For four days we lived in a cocoon of delight and heart felt love. Because we were in an altered state and the experiential nature of the Gathering, I could not explain precisely what we did to friends who questioned me later.

One exercise impacted me powerfully, and remains in my memory banks to this day. We took turns expressing to a partner the qualities of the goddess we saw within ourselves.

When the weekend was over we reluctantly left our spiritual cocoon, spreading out in all directions, Don and I in the direction of Sedona, Arizona.

Since that time I feel I have made slow, but steady progress, beginning our Net of Light women’s group in my home, and building trust withing myself by taking more risks, speaking out more, both in person and in my writing. In these ventures I am supported strongly by the Grandmothers, by my dear women friends and by claiming my Tibetan name more fully, Lhakpa, meaning courageous speech, the name that came to me in a dream several years ago.

Love & light to you.

Ellen / Lhakpa

Copyright 2018 Ellen Besso

Ellen Besso is a former Life Coach & Counsellor & an energy worker. She is the author of An Indian Sojourn: One woman’s spiritual experience of travel & volunteering, and Surviving Eldercare: Where their needs end & yours begin, both available through Amazon.

 

Tibetan Resettlement Project Finale

It was a humbling experience, standing in front of a a hundred plus Tibetan immigrants in a hall in Burnaby on a Saturday evening not long ago. The Vancouver Cultural Society was officially marking the end of Canada’s Tibetan Resettlement Project, an undertaking that resettled 1000 Tibetan Buddists from Arunachal Pradesh in  remote northeast India.

Officially called stateless or displaced persons, the parents and grandparents of these Tibetan folks became isolated in the northeastern Tribal States of India, a place rife with poverty, when they followed the Dalai Lama out of Tibet many years earlier. So remote were the settlements, that even the Dalai Lama’s Government in Exile did not know they existed for the first while. Canada’s five year private sponsorship program officially ended in December of 2017, with the last people arriving in March of 2018.

All sponsors and volunteers in the province of British Columbia were invited to this appreciation dinner, along with the new Tibetan families and other Tibetans  already living in Vancouver. Sadly, the many sponsors and Tibetans from Victoria,  Vancouver Island were not able to attend, and we met only a handful of folks from Vancouver. Don and I were the sole representatives of our sponsorship group on the Sunshine Coast. Our Coordinator, who sponsored three families, was there with her partner.

Our group sponsored a family of four, the Mom, who arrived with almost no English, with her two teenage children in December of 2013, and the Dad, who followed four months later, unable to get his discharge from the Indian Army until then. Another son remained in India, at age 22 too old to be included in the family application.

The Prime Minister at the time, Stephen Harper, to his credit, had agreed to the Dalai Lama’s request to resettle the displaced Tibetans in Canada. Becoming involved in Canada’s somewhat “under the radar” project, (the Canadian government did not want to offend its Chinese trading partner), was a spiritual calling on our part.

There are no accidents. Our many friendships with Tibetans living in exile in Dharamshala, India, developed during five visits spanning ten years, had led us to join the Canada Tibet Committee, and we were notified of the first sponsorship organizational meeting in early 2012. Our application went in during the summer of 2012.

We hit the ground running when our family arrived, the demands were great in the early days. Gradually the family members became more self sufficient and we were needed less.

Despite the small size of our community and scarcity of good jobs, our family and indeed all the families on the Sunshine Coast have done very well, working hard at whatever jobs were available, then gradually moving into more skilled areas.

The appreciation dinner and entertainment evening went quickly. At 10 pm we were readying ourselves for the dash to the last ferry, when we were called up on the stage. We were introduced to the audience and honoured with a khata scarf by the wise Rinpoche from the Vancouver monastery.

Every action we took on behalf of our Tibetan family, and for our Tibetan friends in India, brought us appreciations tenfold over. Each small gesture has been acknowledged many times more than we ever expected or wanted. Their gratefulness was very humbling. Yes, we have helped our family start a new life in Canada, and helped other Tibetans in small ways in India, but I do not think they realize how they have enriched our lives, and the heart opening we have experienced as a result. In the future, I plan to tell  our Tibetan family that they have changed our lives also, and we are blessed to call them our friends.

Ellen