Something fell away during the Net of Light retreat at Ghost Ranch, and something entered. My newly strengthened relationship with Spirit, specifically the Grandmothers of the Net of Light, has brought me to a place of hope for the first time since I lost my soulmate three years ago.

Before Don transitioned I knew on an intuitive soul level I would be okay, that I would not sit in my rocking chair, I would travel and enjoy new experiences. It’s been a challenge to hold onto this internal “knowing”…a long process and much pain to reach the point I’m at now. Although I did “all the right things”, I spent my days going through the motions of life, and despite that clear intuitive message, have not been able to clearly envision a future unfolding before me until now.

After close to two weeks at home revelling in what I called “empty time”, not vacuous at all, rather deep processing, I felt a movement within to begin writing and purging my new home of excess belongings. “Yes, I’m ready to move forward, the Grandmothers are helping me as I knew they would when the time came” I said to myself.

Both the writing and the purging are signs of creativity within, of movement. They are part of the newness.

“Pain and illness occur where new energy meets the old” the Grandmothers told Sharon McErlane in her first book, A Call to Power. My spiritual change has not been without both emotional and physical discomfort. For many weeks before the retreat, as the Grandmothers prepared us for the gathering, congestion was building in my pelvis, the Tan Tien my Dr. of Traditional Chinese Medicine refers to it as.

I had pushed the envelope too far. “Your physical body has not caught up to where you are spiritually” a naturopath told me several years ago, referring to my diet among other things. My body has forced me to forego my daily glass of wine, limit sugar intake and focus more on vegetables and salads.

My spirit is guiding me to a greater extent now, through my thoughts and my motivations. On October 15th, two weeks after the retreat, the word “Yes” was given to me as I journalled. I say yes to hope, to life, to forward movement, both internal and external, to possibilities, to change. “It is time to say yes”, the Grandmothers told me. “We are helping you.”

I continue to listen to my internal guidance and the guidance of the Grandmothers. They are my friends, my mentors, along with our beautiful leader, Sharon.

Love & Light

Ellen

Copyright 2023 Ellen Besso

Ellen Besso is a retired Life Coach, Counsellor & an energy worker. She is the author of An Indian Sojourn: One woman’s spiritual experience of travel & volunteering, and Surviving Eldercare: Where their needs end & yours begin, both available through Amazon. Ellen is currently working on a book about her partner’s illnesses, his transition to spirit, & the many forms of contact they have had since Don left this planet.