Opening to Aging

Our dear nomad friends in    Dharamshala

Turning 70 was an aha moment for me. It took a while and lots of processing before the idea that I was becoming an older women began to sink in. Having dear friends and family share my actual birthday day, to witness the event, helped.

Having the very brief TIA, (mini stroke), six weeks later, after the traumatic experiences in Toronto the day of the Raptor’s parade, was a further step in my understanding. The TIA was a surprising and disconcerting event. I couldn’t believe it was happening to me, but it was an important part in my growing understanding that I am different than I was before, although still me. I really do have an eventual expiry date.

I’m on the way to recognizing – and just beginning to accept – that I am becoming old. The sense that people a decade older than me are old but I’m not no longer works for me. Because 70 is beyond oldish, my favourite descriptor for myself over the past few years. It is the beginning of old.

And that’s okay. Embracing rather than running away from the process of aging that ultimately leads to death is now my goal.

Beginning to open to this idea rather than denying it has led to many new possibilities in my life recently. It seems to have opened the way for my creative juices to flow. New volunteer work with our local Community Services is on the horizon. The new, progressive policy of the organization to match each volunteer and their skills and experience with the best job.

Most of us have a vast array of experience and skills to offer. This concept is called  knowledge philanthropy. After I opened myself to newness, including the newness of aging idea, my guides instructed me, in quite a specific way, to offer a workshop called Age With Grace for small groups of women.

I am currently working on that. It will take a while as I push through my thoughts and feelings around aging and do my research. The late Kathleen Dowling Singh wrote a Buddhist based book I have found helpful, although I am not a Buddhist myself, called The Grace in Aging. It is a very real book, pulling no punches.

Starting to attend the Threshold Choira group of women learning to sing beautiful songs at the bedside of the sick and dying, is another piece of my process. Serious work, quite profound, yet also joyful. For how can I deal with my own aging and ultimate death when I haven’t completed the process of letting go of certain friends and loved ones?

Opening to my aging and dying, although I am still healthy, will continue for the rest of my life. It will to open me to many things and hopefully to a richer life – both out in the world and my internal one.

Love & Light

Ellen

Copyright 2019 Ellen Besso

Ellen Besso is a Life Coach, Counsellor & an energy worker. She is the author of An Indian Sojourn: One woman’s spiritual experience of travel & volunteering, and Surviving Eldercare: Where their needs end & yours begin, both available through Amazon.

 

Reprint from Matt Kahn, “The Blueprint of ‘Feeling Off’ “

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Reprinted in its entirety with permission from Matt’s organization. This is one worth noting. Check out Matt’s website below.

Love & Light

Ellen

Dear Beautiful,

Whether it’s noticed as a rumbling of deeply buried emotions, the sense that everyone around you is on edge and about to explode, or just a feeling off from your known sensations of alignment, there is no doubt that something big is going down on planet Earth. At this moment, the majority of energies that create feelings of being off kilter is the gravitational force of our planet literally shifting into 5D consciousness.

While many people have grandiose notions of what life will be like on a 5D Earth, many overlook the sacred milestones that let us know that such a shift is underway.

No matter how hard you work to stay positive, remain centered, or be as present as possible, such activities employ the ego to do the busy work, while often perceiving moments of ‘feeling off’ as some sort of punishment or indication that enough work has yet to be done. This is why in the new spiritual paradigm, endless spiritual busy work is replaced with authentic self-care. Such self-care won’t guarantee specific outcomes, but it will transform your daily experiences — out of the brink of despair and into the light of true emotional freedom.

In understanding the inner workings of alchemy, feelings of displacement indicate movement, whether occurring on a physical, emotional, or energetic level. Movement, whether the movement of thought, the changing of your emotions, or even the birth and death of each passing moment acts as the evidence of change in motion. If run by a spiritual ego, you are likely to perceive the alchemical movements of change in action as proof of feeling off. Once defined as a problem or a less than desirable experience, your ego will work hard to change your experience, even though that may not be anything close to what you need to face, heal, and process in any given moment. Then, when the ego cannot decisively shift your experience out of the ‘offness’ you perceive, it creates a bigger enemy out of what is merely the evidence of your highest evolution in progress.

While your ego has the right to dislike any way in which this process unfolds, it doesn’t mean your energy field has malfunctioned or is less aligned with the Universe.

It’s simply a matter of undergoing a radical awakening process, where your ego is being stripped of its imagined sense of control, while it works diligently to control the nature of your experience. As we learn to relax our nervous system through extensive breath work, authentic self love, daily entries in a gratitude journal, along with many other facets of self-care, we are able to cultivate a vibration of consciousness that allows the nervous system to remain relaxed, even when the tumultuous terrain of change is occurring. As your nervous system learns to welcome change and even be excited about change, instead of intimidated by it, there become fewer and fewer messages sent to your ego asking it to save you from what is truly your highest expansion under way.

The ego is often a forgetful homeowner, who chases construction workers off its property, forgetting the crew was hired to rebuild the home that once dwelled on a plot of land. In the same way, your ego attempts to undo all the healing underway, just so you can feel more immediate relief, even though it truly plays no part in how, why, and what you manifest. Gone are the days where you needed to live every moment in some fantasy of alignment, as if the Universe is waiting for your most incredible spiritual performance before giving you the things that are already destined to be.

When not blinded by the ego’s insistence on what should happen, when it should happen, and why, you are able to see high vibration as an awareness of this process, which makes it so much easier and far more magical to get through. Whereas, in a low vibration, there is less awareness of a divine plan, which makes it nearly instinctive to believe in perceptions of fear, struggle, doubt, scarcity, and separation.

The more we allow ‘feeling off’ to be the vital proof that we are expanding into 5D consciousness, the less controlling the ego tends to be, as your nervous system relaxes in the presence of existential progress. When ‘feeling off’ can be a tangible sign of huge energetic processes being worked out in you and throughout the planet, you are able to see through the veil of fear and step beyond the threshold of superstition once and for all.

When ‘feeling off’ doesn’t remind you of how misaligned you are, but simply reflects how much self care is needed to support the huge leaps in consciousness being made on a daily, weekly, and monthly basis, you will have outsmarted even the spiritual ego with the wisdom that only unconditional love may know.

You may not like how it feels and you may not know where any of this is headed, but you most certainly couldn’t ever be off course, unless your personal agenda differs from the divine plan of Universal will. It’s not wrong to’ feel off’. It’s a sign of massive expansions under way. The question is, can you allow yourself to relax and welcome in this depth of healing, even when it doesn’t feel the way you desire?

These feelings won’t last forever. Life most certainly will get better and will most likely begin to shift once ‘feeling off’, triggered, resistant, defensive or shut down is not wrong to experience in any way. Once its not against the spiritual law to feel exactly as you do, you will have created the proper space and perspective to tune into your needs and assist in the healing progress — now that any part of your healing is no longer being judged.

May the love of Source carry you forward and walk you home through the loving presence I transmit — from my heart to yours.

All For Love
Matt

http://www.mattkahn.org