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MidLife Women – Part 4 – How we change in midlife
“An increasingly insistent voice from deep within beckons us …imploring us to explore aspects of ourselves that have been dormant during our years of caring for others and focusing on their needs.” Dr. Christiane Northrup
There’s definitely an up and a down side to getting older. For instance, who knew that perimenopausal symptoms, some of which, like poor co-ordination, seemed to oddly mimic early first pregnancy, could begin at age 43? I certainly wasn’t ready for that and my mother, my friend and my Jin-shin-do practitioner had to tell me that what I was experiencing was perimenopause.
The initial stages of perimenopause seemed okay, but as the process deepened, my energy plummeted severely and I felt emotionally disconnected. As the hormone changes intensified, combining with my particular body biology and habits, I was quietly developing osteoporosis.
After I traversed perimenopause and became a menopausal crone, I began my counselling program at City University in Vancouver. My course started one month after I became menopausal, which I found interesting, and somehow fitting. My energy was more stable now, and the focus of learning skills to help me with my work with women gave my life meaning.
This new stage of my life also coincided with my aging mother, who was developing Alzheimers by then, leaving her independent living situation and moving to our community, where my brother and I set her up in her own apartment with private caregivers for several hours per week. While I wasns’t responsible for her day-to-day care, as my brother was her self-appointed case manager, the initial adjustment to having my mom ‘in my backyard’ so to speak, was pretty challenging. I was dealing with the stress of my first year in grad school (after about 20 years), and I was very stressed. Having my mother in my in my community meant that she was ‘in my face’, and old issues surfaced. Over the years it’s been a chance to let go and grow for both of us however.
Despite the challenges midlife throws us, I’ve always seen this time as an opportunity to get to know oneself better. Something in us holds out an invitation to go down deeper into ourselves and to find out what it is that we yearn to do with the rest of our lives.
Next Week: Changing Relationships
It really is nice to know that what I experience and what I feel is normal. At one time, I had my doubts. Now, I am learning to embrace the changes- Nards
Hi Nards: Thanks for taking the time to post a comment on my article. We don’t talk about the changes enough in our society as there’s such a stigma against older women & against the exciting (yes, & sometimes hellish) journey towards menopause seems to be synonymous with aging in the eyes of the world. (I didn’t see it that way myself, but rather as an amazing happening).
Ellen