Ellen Besso Coaching

This one’s for the women who don’t really feel like doing anything! Well, not any of their normal activities anyway.

At the workshop I gave last Saturday I asked women to write down everything they had to do, including social activities, over the next few days, then rate them very quickly from +10 right down to -10 (with no time for monitoring). This is a helpful exercise I learned from Martha Beck.

One woman said that she had to search really hard…pretty much make up something…to have just one positive activity in her batch of negatives. I got the impression she really thought something was wrong with her.

I asked the group if anyone found it unusual that a midlife woman would feel this way. Several women said no, others shook their heads. It was just where she was at. At this time of our life we often find we need lots and lots of down-time. Time to ourselves to do whatever we please, and that may very well be nothing! We may have to fight with ourselves as well as others to get it!

The low kidney energy I had during the latter part of my perimenopause offered me an opportunity to take the time to experience the stillness within me.

Although many in our society would differ, it’s okay to do lots of nothing. It surprises me now that I was able to give myself permission to do so little, as I’m kind of hard on myself (understatement of the year).

1. Lorraine says:

   January 27, 2008 at 10:37 am

   Hi Ellen,

   I really enjoyed your article “It’s Okay to Do Nothing … Really!”
   I’m slowly (but surely!) realizing that I need to “do nothing” more often. I frequently need time to recharge my batteries and the time I spend “doing nothing” does just that. I’ve realized that in the past, I’ve considered this time as “unproductive” yet, it can be some of the most productive time I have. Who would have thought a walk down the road or an afternoon puttering in the yard could do so much good!
   Lorraine