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Relationships Category
Read my article about the unspoken, hidden emotions that add to our burden as caregivers on my facebook group, Surviving & Thriving as a Caregiver:
http://www.facebook.com/groups/143593152384407/doc/?id=155166401227082
It’s difficult to deal with our grief at any time, but over the Christmas season our losses can be much more poignant. It’s important that we look after ourselves at this time or we may become ill, have accidents, distance from family and friends or our feelings may become too intense.
Everyone grieves differently; it’s a non-linear process. There are a few basic self-care ideas that may help all of us, however. I think the Vancouver Sun writers Lynette Pollard-Elgert and Susan Modre summarized them well in their article:
- Drink lots of water to flush the toxins created by stress hormones from our body
- Avoid alcohol as it is a depressant, spikes blood sugar and dehydrates us
- Rest to counteract stress and boost the immune system
- Eat as healthfully as possible; include fruit and vegetables in your diet
- Take supplements, especially Vitamin B complex for stress and Vitamin D for mood and low sunlight
- Do the things that make you feel good
- Spend time with family and friends who will let you be yourself; speaking or quiet as you feel moved
- Take you time; there’s no timeline for grieving
- Allow yourself a full range of feelomgs; it’s okay to have fun when you’re grieving
- Reach out for help to friends, family or professionals
We’ve been having an interesting week – reading the Paramahansa Yogananda vows at the wedding on the beach on Tuesday, and yesterday, attending an event at the Baha’i Centre in East Vancouver with our friends who are Baha’is.
Wed April 21st was the first day of the festivalal of Ridvan. the twelve day Baha’i Holy Period during which Baha’u'llah first declared himself as a Manifestation of God. Our friends invited us to come to the centre with them for a short program. Through readings, a slide show and music, we heard about the history of Baha’u'llah, and how he was guided to start the Baha’i religion. Afterwards there was a chance to mingle and have refreshments.
Since the Baha’i philosophy is one of inclusivity, some of the readings were in Spanish, some in Farsi (Iran’s official language and the country of Baha’u'llah’s origin), and some in Cantonese. The Baha’i Temples have nine sides to represent the nine religions of the world.
Although Baha’is come together for special events at the centre, much of their work is done in small gatherings, where they study the teachings, and do a tremendous amount of community service with groups of children and adults.
Because of our friendship with the Vancouver couple, in 2007 we visited the Baha’i Temple in New Delhi India. There is one temple on each continent; that was the only one in Asia. The temples are more sacred than the centres, and are dedicated to meditation and prayerful readings.
The energy in the temple in Delhi was incredibly gently and peaceful. Most of the Baha’is I’ve met carry this energy in them. They are very warm, friendly and inclusive people.
If you would like to read more about the Baha’i faith here are two links to check out:
Today I had the fortuitous honor of reading the spiritual vows for a couple as they were married on the beach here in my small community. We’ve known the bride for many years and just met the groom. The couple had engaged a marriage commissioner to perform the legal part of the ceremony, but the regulations governing her license forbid her to read vows that mentioned the word God.
That’s where I came in. It was synchronicity in action once again – the bride asked me to read the vows as a longtime family friend, not knowing that I had trained in the very spiritual discipline the wedding vows came from. It is the Paramahansa Yoga tradition, and I took the 5 day meditation training in 2001. The groom has been a practitioner of this form of krya yoga meditation for many years, the bride is a Buddhist.
Meditation was an important part of my life and my spiritual process several years ago. Recently I’ve begun to meditate again, tentatively, in a small way. Today’s event has encouraged me to move forward in my daily practice. Everything happens for a reason.
On Saturday I received an e-mail from a young friend in India, a monk. He was a student of my partner, and a friend to both of us during our time in Dharamsala. Although his home monastery is in South India, with permission from his superiors, he travels frequently and spends quite a bit of time in Dharamsala learning English and computer skills.
His dream is to help young Tibetans through political action, and to do this he needs both those skills. Once monks get through their junior level training, it seems that they are channelled by their masters into the work they are suited for. I can picture our friend, in the years to come, traveling around the world to western countries, giving political talks. That is the job of some monks; I think of them as ‘political monks’.
While monks are at their home monastery their basic living expenses are covered: food and clothing mainly. But when they travel to further their skills and to attend special teachings, they receive no help. They live by the good graces of their friends.
We had sent our friend some money a while back (unasked for), as we knew he had very little. In his e-mail on Saturday, he said he had very little money, was eating only two meals a day, and had given the money we sent to his cousin for his young daughter who is sick in hospital. He told us how hard it was for him to send this e-mail, as he didn’t want to ruin our friendship. But he’d decided to take the risk, be brave, and ask us for financial help.
Once again I feel humbled to have this young Tibetan monk as my friend. His purpose in life, and that of so many others we met (both monks and laypeople), is to help other Tibetans. They do this by learning as much as they can, developing the skills to teach others or to spread the word about Tibetans to the world. And by studying Tibetan Buddhism and attending as many teachings as they can with H.H. the Dalai Lama and other high lamas.
These indomitable young Tibetans don’t put themselves first, they look to the good of the whole. They have many western friends and teachers, and graciously accept the offer of English conversation or tutoring and gifts of meals, money or shoes, but they seldom ask for anything.
To me they are models of humanity to others.
