Ellen's book will strengthen and guide you in your role as caregiver to an elder parent or relative, and help you understand your own physical, emotional, mental & spiritual needs.Now available at
Midlife Women Category
This simple but profound poem was posted on the screen of Vision TV. It’s food for thought.
A vision without a task is but a dream.
A task without a vision is drudgery.
A vision and a task is the hope of the world.
From a Church in Sussex, c. 1730
In a different, but related vein, this brief article could be an entree into alternative thinking about the fear that’s at the basis of most prejudices. I know it’s stimulated my thinking – is fear at the root of every misunderstanding or lack of connection, I wonder?
Women’s rights have come a long way, and we’re now in the 3rd wave of feminism, after the first 2 waves failed to adequately address the real issues of women of colour, poor women and lesbian, bisexual and transgendered women.
While Western women have made many gains, the lot of women in developing countries has improved only in tiny increments. Afghanistan, Congo and Pakistan are the world’s most dangerous countries for women, due to threats ranging from violence and rape to dismal health care and honour killings, a Thomson Reuters Foundation poll showed last year.
Please check out this fascinating & uplifting post by 11 women around the world , posted by The Saudi Woman’s Website, a one-woman unique account of politics in Saudi as they pertain to women’s rights.
After you click the link below, Press on “Click here” and you will be transferred to a map showing the locations of the 11 women who have written about their country for International Women’s Day and their stories.
What is there to celebrate around the world on International Women’s Day?
Here is a link to a poem honouring women’ strength, The Empowered Woman, by Sonny Carroll.
As part of Family Caregiver Week, The Family Caregivers’ Network Society, a non profit organization based in Victoria, is offering several programs. One of the events is a free one hour tele-workshop, Surviving Eldercare: Where Their Needs End & Yours Begin, given by me on May 10th from 7 to 8 p.m.
Registration information for all courses is below:
Caregiving from the Heart: Connecting through Curiosity & Deep Listening
Communication is most effective when we take time to connect from the heart. Making connection a priority in our caregiving relationships helps to alleviate assumptions and barriers, and increase compassion and understanding for each other. In this experiential playshop (yes, you will get to play), explore how curiosity and deep listening can bridge relationships and close the communication gap. Learn to ask questions that help to clarify needs and assumptions and that engage the heart versus the mind. And learn to listen not just to people’s words, but to the person behind the words – to hear what they are saying at the emotional level. Connect from the heart with family and friends and strengthen your capacity as a family caregiver.
Tuesday, May 8, 2012 7:00 – 9:00 PM
Multi-Purpose Room, Salvation Army Citadel, 4030 Douglas Street, Victoria
Vince Gowmon, Certified Professional Life Coach and founder of Remembering to Play Events.
$25.00 for FCNS members $30.00 for non-members
Registration: Contact FCNS at 250-384-0408 or register on-line at www.familycaregiversnetwork.org. Payment can also be mailed to 526 Michigan St., Victoria, BC V8V 1S2. Space is limited. Deadline to register is May 1st.
FREE BC-Wide Tele-Workshops
Family Dynamics and Caregiving: Separating the Past From the Present
Monday, May 7, 2012 Noon – 1:00 PM
Allison Reeves, Registered Clinical Counsellor
The stresses of the caregiving relationship can often cause past unhealthy family dynamics to reappear and make the whole situation even more difficult for both individuals involved. Knowing how to separate current caregiving issues from those on-going family dynamics can make resolving these issues a whole lot easier. In this tele-workshop you will learn how to more easily distinguish what is solvable in the immediate moment and what isn’t; you will feel more empowered as a caregiver with this knowledge. The focus of the session will be on what you can do differently and not on how to change what the person receiving care may or may not be doing.
Surviving Eldercare: Where Their Needs End and Yours Begin
Thursday, May 10, 2012 7:00 – 8:00 PM
Ellen Besso, Midlife Coach and Author
This tele-workshop will help you find the balance between the demands of your life as a family caregiver and your need for personal and professional time. Learn how to distinguish between tasks that are absolutely necessary and those that are not, and to delegate some of the responsibilities you now carry alone. Build a team of trusted others to help share the work with you and to support and encourage you in this exacting role.
Registration: To register call the Care-ring Voice Network at 1-866-396-2433 or register on-line at www.careringvoice.com. Connect to the tele-workshops simply by using your telephone.
Ensuring Your Elderly Loved One’s Happiness at an Assisted Living Facility
by Amber Paley
Elder abuse is a subject we’re hearing more and more about as of late. From that news follows concern; not just for the vulnerable elderly population, but for our own loved ones. And when the time comes that we can no longer provide our loved ones with the care they need, assisted living facilities become something we all have to deal with. But how can we know we’re choosing the right facility for our loved one and that he or she will be happy there? Below you’ll find tips for ensuring that your loved one stays happy and healthy.
Thoroughly Research All Potential Facilities
Before ever stepping foot in a potential nursing home for your loved one, do your research. Read about others’ experiences at those facilities and find out if there have been problems at the facility in the past. Also, check with Consumer Reports, which put together a report for nursing homes that are high quality and those that are low quality. Note: This appears to be for U.S. only.
Get a Feel for Potential Facilities
After researching facilities, start visiting ones that fit your loved one’s needs. Ask employees and the nursing home administrators questions about patient care and safety procedures. Ask to see past governmental inspection reports on the nursing home. Ask what the staff to resident ratio is and whether or not staff members have to undergo a background check before being hired. Observe other residents and get a general feel for the facility you are visiting. Make sure that the facility is one that’s environment is positive for your loved one. Chances are that if something rubs you the wrong way or you just generally get a negative feeling about the home that you should trust your intuition.
Consistently Check on Your Loved One
After choosing a nursing home for you loved one, consistently check on him or her. Statistics show that those residents who have a strong family presence are less likely to be abused and neglected than those that don’t. Ask your loved one how they feel at the facility, if they like it, and if they are being treated properly. Look for signs of physical abuse on his or her body periodically. If you notice any mood changes or you notice that your loved one is less mentally available than before, then investigate further; either of these things could be a sign of abuse. Also make note of how other residents act or appear; for instance, do residents seem like they are bathed regularly and given adequate food and water? Do staff members seem to respond quickly to resident’s calls?
Overall, taking an active role in choosing your loved one’s facility and in their life after they’ve moved to the facility are imperative to ensure that he or she is happy and receiving adequate care.
Copyright 2012, Amber Paley
Amber Paley is a guest blogger and article writer bringing to us information on how to ensure your loved one’s happiness in a nursing home.
Amber spends much of her professional life writing about elderly abuse in nursing homes. Visit Amber’s site and read more.
Tibet Situation Worsening
I am reprinting this email, sent out to Canada Tibet Committee members in case you are not aware of the seriously worsening situation in Tibet.
You can read more about Tibet on the Canada Tibet Committee website or become a member.
Hunger Strike, Rally, March, and Vigil
Since 2008 when Chinese Government pressure escalated, life as a Tibetan in Tibet has been unbearable for many. Tragically, since February 2009, 17 Tibetans have self-immolated in protest.
In recent weeks the unbearable conditions in Tibet have worsened. Underground testimonies speak of horrific conditions, and convoys of Chinese military trucks have been witnessed heading into Tibetan regions. Canada Tibet Committee has appealed to Prime Minister Stephen Harper to prioritize “Tibetans Before Trade” on his upcoming trip to China.
The Chinese Government is struggling to hide the current military crackdown from the world by blocking internet traffic and barring foreign media from Tibetan areas – e.g. CNN crew detained, January 31
Nonetheless, Tibetans worldwide have heard the pleas of their brothers and sisters. In response to the appeal from Prime Minister of the Tibetan Government in Exile, Dr. Lobsang Sangay, to carry out a Worldwide Vigil on February 8, 2012, Tibetans of British Columbia and Washington State will gather in Vancouver.
Please join us for all or part of the program, from 11am to 7pm.
If you are not able to attend the event in person, please join us in a day long solidarity fast.
The Event Program – Wed Feb 8
11am: Meet at the Vancouver Art Gallery (Robson St side), 750 Hornby Street, Vancouver. Rally with Tibetans and supporters and begin a day-long hunger strike.
12pm: March along Granville Street to Chinese Consulate at 3380 Granville Street, Vancouver.
1:00pm: Protest, Prayers, and Hunger Strike continue at the Chinese Consulate.
4:30pm: Candle Light Vigil (at the Chinese Consulate)
7pm: Closing Prayer
Copyright 2008 Comité Canada Tibet Committee
300, Léo-Pariseau, Suite 2250,
Montréal, Québec H2X 4B3
514.487.0665 Fax 514.487.7825