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Midlife Women Category

Wednesday, September 1, 2010

Does motivation come from inside  or outside ourselves? We’re not all the same when it comes to this.

Intrinsic motivation, or the motivation from inside, refers to the impetus to do something from an interest in and/or enjoyment of the task. It’s something that lives inside us. When we work from intrinsic motivation, we believe that we can be effective in reaching our desired goals (i.e. the results are not determined by luck).

Extrinsic motivation, on the other hand, comes from outside the individual. Rewards like money and grades, coercion and threat of punishment are thought to be extrinsic motivators, so is a crowd cheering on athletes.

Researchers have found that too much reliance on outside rewards can lead to reduced intrinsic motivation. In one study children who were rewarded with a ribbon and a gold star for drawing pictures spent less time playing creatively than the children who were assigned an unexpected reward or no reward.

Daniel Pink, a one-time speech writer for Al Gore, explains this in his book, Drive; he says that while we need a baseline of extrinsic motivation on the job, a threshold amount, such as a salary, after that we fare best when our work allows us to self-motivate, from within. This is particularly true for creative work.

Fast results can be delivered by those who respond enthusiastically to external rewards, but intrinsically motivated people achieve more in the long run, Pink goes on to say. This is  because ultimately the “carrots and the sticks” have what he calls “The Seven Deadly Flaws”: they can extinguish our intrinsic motivation; diminish performance; crush creativity; crowd out good behavior, encourage cheating, shortcuts and unethical behavior; become addictive and can foster short-term thinking.

When I worked in a toxic, unstable environment I didn’t have the flexibility to be creative in the ways I wanted and needed to be. I enjoyed working with my clients, but the uncertain funding, the scare mongering way the boss talked about this, and the decreasing options (e.g. we were strongly discouraged from using a particular technique we’d been trained in, something that should have been our professional call), meant that the job had a low level of intrinsic reward, the reward I needed. That’s why I’m a good candidate for self-employment. Every day is a new day of self-propelled productivity when I’m running my own business.

We do, however, need some balance between extrinsic and intrinsic motivators. If I am receiving no external rewards for working in my business, such as sales of products and services, and positive feedback from clients, that makes it harder to maintain the internal motivation.

Are you intrinsically or extrinsically motivated?

Are you satisfied with the balance in your life?

If not, what steps can you take to change it?


You may enjoy some of Pink’s articles. Here’s an interesting elevator versus stairs study.

Other Pink blog articles.

The article Enhance Learning with Technology posted on a teachers’ site called enhancelearning.ca, talks about motivating children.

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Tuesday, August 10, 2010

Most of us are concerned about our cash flow in this challenging economy. My guest blog, Money the Hottest Topic Around, is now up at Time to Thrive.

Read my article and check out Jodi and Ken’s other posts. They know, from a personal and professional perspective, how to help you get control of your money situation!

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Monday, June 14, 2010

There’s a lot of talk about the heavy demands and responsibilities of women, how we’re stretched to the max from living in the fast lane. Articles and books abound about what women can do to make their lives more doable. But in my opinion, not enough is being written about the effect, short and long term, of  our lifestyles on our bodies, and ultimately on our lives.

During a teleconference a couple of weeks ago with the creators of the Inspiring Women Conference, the presenter told us  she has learned that women are using their adrenalin to ‘push’ in order to succeed in the world. Adrenalin is not meant for everyday pushing, as we all know it’s the ‘fight or flight’ hormone, and is for times of crisis. Testosterone on the other hand, is meant to be used in a ‘push to get ahead’ kind of way.

This piece of information fascinated me; while I’m not a medical professional, it seems that it could go a long way towards explaining why adrenal burnout is epidemic among women now. When I sent out a query about this I found out that the adrenalin-testosterone information is based on a TCM  interpretation (Traditional Chinese Medicine). I’m now trying to learn more about it.

In past generations, when our world involved more physical activity, we took used our excess adrenalin by physical exertion, but the world of today is quite different. The pressures of our jobs, the pushing we do to get through each day, a family emergency or a car accident may constitute stress for us today.

When we don’t work off the adrenaline it’s left in the body and we often feel nervous and may have insomnia. Many of us are on an adrenaline high each day. Eventually many of us deplete our adrenal supplies as our adrenal glands become tired from overuse.

Because adrenaline burnout is a complex interaction, it’s thought of as a syndrome, or group of  symptoms. Some symptoms of adrenal burnout are listed on the myadrenalfatigue website.

This throid website offers some helpful holistic tips for women who think they may have adrenal burnout.

Dr. Christiane Northrup has many helpful articles on her website. Her books Womens’ Bodies, Womens’ Wisdom and The Wisdom of Menlopause are excellent.

You may find the book Tired of Being Tired by Hanley & Deville helpful for full details on adrenal burnout along with a program of restoration.

I leave you with the following thoughts:

  • A significant proportion of the things you’re now doing can probably be done by others (or not at all).
  • Although we often feel irreplaceable,  someone will step in to close the gap if we’re not there.
  • If we don’t make ourselves a priority, chances are no one else will.
  • Taking 1-3 deep breathes every 15 minutes gives us a new perspective. It enlivens, invigorates, yet also slows down the racing (put post its up as a reminder).
  • Eating regular, high quality small meals/snacks and drink water helps our adrenal glands.
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Friday, June 11, 2010

I am pleased to announce that my MidLife Maze blog is rated Number 16 in the Top 50 blogs of Midlife. See Networked Blogs.

It is also Number 10 under Coaching Blogs in the 100 Best Life & Career Coach Blogs

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Thursday, May 27, 2010

There’s a debate going on right now, and it’s gaining momentum. It’s the issue of whether or not women should give birth over 40 years of age. Everyone seems to be jumping on the bandwagon with an opinion about this.

Last week Kelly Preston and John Travolta announced that she is pregnant at the age of 47 and this triggered a CNN panel discussion about the topic. My colleague Angel La Liberte took part in the discussion. Angel’s Flower Power Mom; the truth about motherhood over forty blog was launched a few months ago, and is a wonderful resource and networking platform for moms over forty, and for all moms really. It is helping to get the message out and raise public awareness.

As a life coach and writer for women in midlife, and as a mother, menopausal woman and caregiver, I am very aware of and passionate about the issues that face older mothers in particular, and how they are frequently sandwiched by such challenges as parenting and their career, parenting and perimonopause, and/or parenting and elder care.

The challenges these  women have on their plates would daunt the fainter of heart! Yet they carry on with their daily lives, and they do this under society’s judging eye. These women need support, not criticism. Women have the right to chose when to procreate. Who’s  business is it anyway but their own?

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