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Archive for August, 2008
Do you feel like tossing everything aside when the weather turns warm? In the fall and winter we tend to
slow down and may look within ourselves more. Our internal body compass may tell us to ______ more and _______ less. In the summer we’re out there doing and enjoying what the good weather and long, long days have to offer us. After 18 years on the West Coast, I’m still amazed that there’s still light in the sky at 10:30 at night and that it begins to get light again around 4 a.m. It seems kind of a shame to sleep!
In his book The Four Shields: The Initiatory Seasons of Human Nature, Steven Foster describes profiles for each season that coincide with our developmental stages. The Summer profile represents physicality, earthiness, instinct, playfulness, emotions and innocence. It has a strong sense of the child and enjoys a good deal of earth contact. Fall people are introspective, as is fall itself, crave solitude and possess empathy. Winter represents work, community, family, and responsibility, while spring energy is creative and imaginative.
For some months now I’ve found I’ve had the desire to intersperse my indoor, sedentary activities with more active outdoor ones. At times I’ve found myself unexpectedly rising from my chair and walking into the garden to pull weeds or just to walk around soaking up the atmosphere and the sights. As the days lengthened into summer my yearning to be outside became stronger than ever. I would spend every day in nature if I could. I sit with the door of my little studio open, no matter what the temperature, so I can see the little patch of grass and flower garden outside my door.
Beginning my day with my coffee and a thick slab of raisin bread on the back porch, I try to intersperse my office hours with gardening and painting the outside of the house. On Saturdays I give myself permission to step away from my writing, admin. and client sessions, and usually spend about 10 hours outside. I just can’t get enough of the outdoors, or of moving my body and working with my hands it seems.
Foster says that summer is the time to be in our bodies with all that entails, and to plant our feet firmly on the ground. Through connecting with our bodies, we can then connect with the sun, the trees and the earth.
How is summer manifesting for you? Do you yearn to be outdoors? If so, what form does this take for you?
Announcements:
Rejuvenate Yourself – Restore Body, Mind, Spirit
Oct. 31st – Nov. 2nd 2008 – Chaster House, Gibsons, BC
Relax, restore and rejuvenate yourself with Ellen and other like-minded women by the sea.
Women’s Spirituality Retreat
Nov. 21st – 23rd, 2008 – Chaster House, Gibsons, BC
With Ellen Besso & Terri Scallon
Deepen your personal spirituality & reconnect with your passion for life in a safe setting with other women.
To register, or for more information on either retreat:
800 961 1364 or 604 886 1916
Guest Blogger: I think you’ll enjoy this article by my friend Jill Crossland, who offers midlife women Life & Business Coaching plus an on-line magazine. Thank you Jill.
Some women give their life to adventure.
To awaken quite alone in a strange town is one of the pleasant sensations in the world. You are
surrounded by adventure. You have no idea what is in store for you, but you will, if you are wise and know the art of travel, let yourself go on the stream of the unknown and accept whatever comes in the spirit in which the gods may offer it.
…..written from Baghdad by Freya Stark, Travel Writer
The year was 1929 and while being in a foreign country is exciting, adventure really doesn’t have to be big and it doesn’t have to be about travel. It is about trying something new, being spontaneous and going outside of your comfort zone.
If your life is so carefully planned, booked and scheduled that there is no time for the unknown then you have become a tourist in your own world. You are that woman on the sightseeing bus; with your travel itinerary clutched in one hand, gazing longingly at the less traveled side roads but your schedule only permits stops to eat, go to the bathroom or visit the next carefully chosen landmark.
What are the road signs that you are not living life to its fullest?
- feeling sad or depressed
- normal things no longer give you any pleasure
- no patience, quick tempered
- no motivation
If these symptoms are persistent talk to a health professional. If they are intermittent then your inner adventuress is calling!Chances are that you will discover she is the part of you that started to get restless around the time of your fortieth birthday or she is the young version of you who got left behind years ago.
The adventuress is not the wife, mother, daughter, co-worker, doggy mom or best friend.
She is however, well worth getting to know & there is a lot that she will add to your life.
Guest Blogger: Here’s a post in its entirety written by my friend Rita at Homespun Healers. Their focus is on empowering women and weight loss. I hope you enjoy it.
Once upon a time, after losing 70 pounds, I went on campaign to try and make sure that overweight women started taking pride in themselves, loving themselves, and enjoying life, right now, just as they are. Instead of putting life on hold until they lost 20, 50, 100 pounds or more. It stands to reason that you will take better care of yourself if you are starting out from a position of self love, rather than shame and self
loathing. Too, a good many women are overweight, not because of how much they eat, but how little they exercise. Now that they are overweight, they are too self conscious and/or ashamed to get involved in certain activities that they might enjoy. Thus, a vicious cycle begins. Less activity and more weight gain. More weight gain, and less activity. Toss in some poor self esteem, self loathing, some other emotional baggage, and what do you get? A few more extra pounds! How do you stop the madness?
First of all, stop waiting for “someday.” Start loving yourself, appreciating yourself, feeling good about you, and taking care of yourself right now. Don’t wait until you drop a couple of dress sizes before you get involved again in activities that you enjoy, or think you might enjoy. Get moving NOW.
Water aerobics is the perfect exercise for those who have a considerable amount of weight to lose, or for those with joint problems. You will burn calories, strengthen muscles and tone your body effortlessly while in the water. What? You wouldn’t be caught dead in a bathing suit right now?
Secondly, let’s face it. There are very few beautiful perfectly sculpted bodies in this world. Have you checked out the beach lately? Better yet, have you visited the community swimming pool? If you have, then you know exactly what I am talking about. I came face to face with this discovery when I joined a water aerobics class. I didn’t see the first gorgeous perfectly sculpted body anywhere. Even the skinny people had sags, bags and wrinkles somewhere. There were people there of all shapes and sizes. Everyone was just kind of “normal.” (Whatever that is.) Trust me on this. Give it a try and you will be hooked on water aerobics: the exercise that feels more like “play time” than exercise.
Finally, don’t wait until you have to buy a whole new wardrobe before you start strutting your stuff. You are NOT your weight. You are so much more than that, and you are already a beautiful woman. Start acting like it. If you find this concept hard to grasp, then do what I have advised so many other women to do: “Fake it until you make it.” Pretty is as pretty does. Go out and get that sassy new hair style, spoil yourself with a manicure, find your signature fragrance and wear it daily, apply makeup and buy clothes that make you feel pretty at whatever size you are at now. Oh, and don’t forget to hold your head high, and put some twist in your hip when you are walking. Be confident. It’s very sexy at any size. So, love yourself, be good to yourself, feel pretty, move that body, and watch the pounds disappear!
My partner & I just got back from 5 days in the interior of British Columbia at a cabin at the very north end
of Okanagan Lake, a 150 mile stretch of lake. At home our days go too quickly; there never seems to be enough time to complete our tasks & they always take longer than we think they should! But on the lake, time passed very, very slowly. Each day seemed like 2 days, & the 3 full days we spent there felt like a week! It was wonderful & gave us the refreshment away from our routines that we craved.
Time is a man-made concept & that’s why sometimes it seems to lengthen & shorten in a way that’s apart from the actual hours we see on the clock. Kronos, or chronological time, is the time we go by when we use our clocks & schedule our days tightly. Kyros time is the more natural flow of the body, more organic if you will. It is sometimes called sacred time.
Other definitions of Kyros time:
Kairos time is God’s time and is the “appointed time” according to Christian Forums website
Kyros time is for evaluating moments of experience. It is the way our brain remembers things…by putting one event next to the other says Matt Cassidy
Ofer Zur, PhD has written an excellent article called Reflections on Speed in which he mentio0ns kyros time. It begins:
“I was rushing the other morning to get to my laptop to complete this essay. As I was driving my car, I was also talking to my wife on my cell phone, while eating my lunch and listening (was I?) to my favorite classical music radio station. In the midst of all this, my palm pilot beeped, which meant it was protesting being ignored. The irony of rushing to write an article on the impact of speed on daily life did not escape me. Multitasking on my way to describing the importance of “standing still” truly seemed ludicrous.” Read more…
I felt this sense of slowness & timelessness during our recent mini-holiday, & have noticed it occasionally before. For example, sitting in a home where there’s a newborn baby, where things follow the baby’s internal clock much more than they do the one on the wall. Another example would be during a deep meditation when we completely lose track of how much time’s passed.
Have you noticed examples of kyros time? I’d love to hear about more examples of it. The more we can get into this natural flow, the more relaxed we can feel.
“An increasingly insistent voice from deep within beckons us …imploring us to explore aspects of ourselves that have been dormant during our years of caring for others and focusing on their needs.” Dr. Christiane Northrup
There’s definitely an up and a down side to getting older. For instance, who knew that perimenopausal symptoms, some of which, like poor co-ordination, seemed to oddly mimic early first pregnancy, could begin at age 43? I certainly wasn’t ready for that and my mother, my friend and my Jin-shin-do practitioner had to tell me that what I was experiencing was perimenopause.
The initial stages of perimenopause seemed okay, but as the process deepened, my energy plummeted severely and I felt emotionally disconnected. As the hormone changes intensified, combining with my particular body biology and habits, I was quietly developing osteoporosis.
After I traversed perimenopause and became a menopausal crone, I began my counselling program at City University in Vancouver. My course started one month after I became menopausal, which I found interesting, and somehow fitting. My energy was more stable now, and the focus of learning skills to help me with my work with women gave my life meaning.
This new stage of my life also coincided with my aging mother, who was developing Alzheimers by then, leaving her independent living situation and moving to our community, where my brother and I set her up in her own apartment with private caregivers for several hours per week. While I wasns’t responsible for her day-to-day care, as my brother was her self-appointed case manager, the initial adjustment to having my mom ‘in my backyard’ so to speak, was pretty challenging. I was dealing with the stress of my first year in grad school (after about 20 years), and I was very stressed. Having my mother in my in my community meant that she was ‘in my face’, and old issues surfaced. Over the years it’s been a chance to let go and grow for both of us however.
Despite the challenges midlife throws us, I’ve always seen this time as an opportunity to get to know oneself better. Something in us holds out an invitation to go down deeper into ourselves and to find out what it is that we yearn to do with the rest of our lives.
Next Week: Changing Relationships
