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Archive for June, 2008
Did you know that when we’re old our kids, doctors, pharmacist, grocery delivery guy, etc., etc. may be able
to watch us in our home? It’s true, with the robots that are being tested now, amazing things can happen by the time we’re old.
Not only will the robots be able to clean our houses and prepare food, but they will be able to alert the above mentioned group of people (should we agree to this) if we don’t answer our phones. Our remote ‘caregiver team’ will be able to interact with the robots and give them directions, such as reading our vital signs and reporting them back to the caregiver.
Does this sound surreal? Does it seem like Huxley’s 1984? Well it’s true. I knew the robots were coming, but hadn’t heard about these new developments until today (On my 5 pm news, CIVT, Channel 9 Vancouver, BC).
This sounds positive in many ways, because elders will be able to live independently longer and be safe. Many seniors are ‘borderline safe’ or unsafe nowadays living alone; my mom was borderline before she went into care. But how about our privacy? Will the robotized computer cameras be able to watch us in our beds and in the bathroom? (the pic shown on the news showed a visual of a man lying on the floor).
I guess the kinks will have to be worked out on this as time goes on. Let me know what you think and share with us all what you know about this please.
Most of us say we want to change our lives, and I think we all mean it, to varying degrees, but are we actually willing to do the work necessary to make significant, permanent change?
Everyone has hear of paradigm shifts. A paradigm shift is a complete change in thinking or belief system that allows something new to be created…something we previously thought impossible. It involves some sort of metamorphosis.
What’s necessary to really make a paradigm shift?
* We need to know what our preferred life would look like, (or at least what we no longer want).
* We need to understand that change takes time.
* We must be ready to do the work involved in change.
I’m often surprised at how vague people are sometimes when I talk to them about beginning change. Perhaps it’s because we’ve been trained to look at what’s not working, but not so much to dream about what we’d like our lives to be.
I believe that many people want a “quick fix” because we live in a culture that loves the “quick fix”. They’ve bought into the societal message that everything can happen on a timetable to order. For example, we’re supposed to move smoothly through the stages of grief when we lose someone, then get on with our lives as before. Counselling or coaching are often thought of as something that takes one or two sessions. Spirituality can even be purchased packaged as electronic meditation, the quick way to enlightenment.
We need to get really uncomfortable physically, emotionally and/or spiritually in the box we’ve been living in to embrace change passionately I believe.
Change is a process that takes time and commitment. When we working on our beliefs we are able to give up our old stories about ourselves, the ones that keep us unhappy. We shift old patterns and become a happier version of ourselves.
Are you ready to do what it takes to move forward in your life?
You know the expression ‘we’re creatures of habit’? It’s believed that change is difficult, perhaps even
impossible, as we keep on with our old ways of operating in the world. But it’s important for many good reasons (such as changing what makes us miserable and staying young) to do new things.
When we create new habits, our old ones don’t suddenly depart from us unfortunately! But the good news is that parallel synaptic paths are created when we do new things and that means our thoughts can jump onto the new tracks.
To make big change we need to be full of wonder…to believe that anything’s possible. Unfortunately when we’re kids we’re often discouraged in our dreams by adults who became discouraged from their dreams somewhere along the line.
Our society leans heavily towards analytical thinking and following procedures, to the detriment of innovative thinking (i.e. creativity) and collaborative thinking (i.e. working together). Things are beginning to change in the world now, fortunately, but there’s still a huge emphasis on decision making rather than curious inquiry or ‘conversations’ as they call them in Narrative Therapy.
Dawna Markova, author of The Open Mind, says that to decide is to kill off all possibilities but one, whereas when one thinks innovatively they explore many possibilities. Mona and Giovanni, of Question the Mind, taught me that when our thoughts are confused we feel stressed and our resulting actions and therefore the results of them are limited to 0 to 2. Confused actions fall into no possibilities or stuckness, 1 possibility or black and white thinking, or 2 possibilities or a dilemma. Whereas thoughts of clarity lead to peaceful feelings and limitless actions! The result is things feel right and we have no regrets.
Change, even positive change, usually comes with fear, originating in our emotional brain or old brain. Then if we’re scared enough our fight or flight response activates and we want to run from whatever we’ve initiated. Martha Beck calls it our lizard.
However when we take tiny little steps, called turtle steps by Martha Beck and referred to as kaizen (a Japanese technique) by M.J. Ryan, we don’t go to the old brain’s fight or flight response, but are able to stay in the creativity and playfulness of our thinking brain.
So as many of us baby boomers grow older, let’s step outside of our comfort zone on a regular basis. It really does get easier and easier. And our creativity grows in leaps and bounds.
“If a woman understood that ‘what I create has nothing to do with what anybody else is creating’, then she wouldn’t be so afraid of what others are doing” Abraham
Do you have a tendency to compare yourself to others to see if you match up? I do. When the money isn’t coming in or the project isn’t working right, it’s easy to slide into blaming ourselves for the outcome. But if we’ve given our very best, that’s all we can do. We need to “let go and let God” as I believe they say in AA.
Sometimes there are many other factors at play in the “success” or “failure” of a project or in the outcome of
our interactions with others. Byron Katie has a very succinct question that cuts right to the chase on this. I love it. We can use it for almost any situation or difficulty. The question is:
“Whose business am I in – my own, someone else’s or God’s (i.e. the unknown)”.
So if our work isn’t going well, or we’re having difficulty with our boss, partner or friend we can use this question to determine whether we’re trying to control a person or situation that we just can’t or should not be attempting to control.
This realization can give us an enormous sense of relief. It can also free up a tremendous amount of energy that we’ve previously been using on things that are not in our power to control.
MidLife Women – How humiliating is this?
Have you seen the tv commercial that focuses on a woman stuck in bumper-to-bumper highway traffic with
her partner and kids? She squirms and looks very uncomfortable, embarrassed and maybe even in pain. Suddenly a porta-potty floats gently down from the sky! The woman relaxes and smiles, and a picture comes on the screen showing a popular disposable pad/diaper product.
It’s true that many women suffer from some urinary incontinence or urgency. Sometimes it begins after pregnancy and birth, sometimes with the hormone changes in perimenopause. Some women just ‘leak’ when they laugh from a young age. But I hardly think a disposable pad for incontinence (billed as the traveller’s porta-potty) will make everything tickety-boo!
Yes, these products are helpful in some circumstances, but why, why, why, don’t we hear about products that can tone, build and strengthen the bladder? This is a preventive approach and the products that don’t heal the symptoms wouldn’t be necessary (or not for many years anyway)? Can’t our allopathic medical docs get on board with the idea of ‘complementary medicine’, like in Britain. When allopathic medicine combines with natural (i.e. herbs, homeopathics, mega-vitamins, trace minerals, etc.) we get the best of both worlds. If it’s good enough for the Queen of England, why isn’t it good enough for us?