Ellen Besso Coaching

If you haven’t already found it, I’d like to introduce you to my friend Jill Crossland’s blog: www.timefinderscoaching.net/fabover40. Jill also writes for midlife women and has an on-line magazine and coaching service.

Here is an excerpt from Jill’s January 4th blog post that I thoroughly enjoyed and quite agree with!

“I see that Chatelaine has managed to go through another editor. Sara Angel is citing “personal reasons” but that explanation is as weak as the magazine’s generally lackluster content .

Like many readers I let my subscription lapse a few years ago but I do pick up a copy every now and then in the hope that it is finally starting to have a sense of direction.

Until it does get a sense of where it is going Chatelaine will continue to turn over editors and staff. The powers that be need to recognize that today’s woman is not the housewife of the past, she is instead sophisticated and well rounded….”

Brian Tracy, a well-known motivational speaker and writer says: “We generally accomplish our written goal, dreams, plans and visions.” The friend I spoke of in my resolution entry, who wrote herself a letter each New Year and put it away until the next year is a model of what Brian Tracy speaks about.

In my last post I spoke about the idea of resolutions for the new year. Now I’m thinking about a more structured process of Visioning. I decided to research visioning to see if I was on the right track. I found that a vision is a positive image that can guide one’s life. It answers questions such as: “What will my best life look like?” and “How can my unique qualities contribute to society?” The suggested length is about 50 words, although this is flexible. Successful people always seem to have visions.

I’m designing a program to help women develop their vision. It involves examining what we love to do in our daily work and private lives, clarifying our most important values, then using the North Star coaching approach to dissolve beliefs that limit progress towards these goals and to develop a Vision Chart for moving forward.

If you have any questions about this Visioning process or would like to explore it further with me, write to me at: ellen@ellenbesso.com

P.S. My New Year’s gift to you is a special 45 minute Visioning 2008 session for $49.

“Mistakes are the currency with which we buy tickets to the life-ride. No mistakes, no ride” Molly Gordon

Molly Gordon, coach and writer is a very honest, transparent person. In one of her 2007 newsletters Molly told her readers that she lived much of her life “as though it were more important to be right than happy” and that mistakes drove her to “agonies of self- criticism”. I wonder how many of us are like that? I’m guessing quite a few!

At times I have an obsession for detail and for “getting it just right”. I’m able to pick up on this trait of mine more these days fortunately. Then I can do something about it. I believe it’s a futile attempt on my part to bring order, safety and control into my life. It works to a certain extent when I have a presentation to prepare or am writing an article or website text. But there comes a point when we need to decide that “enough is enough”. So I now consult with my partner to get a reality check and I tend to stop earlier in my process than before. In other words, I give myself permission to be imperfect more often!

Scott and Ryan of Angles for Creative Solutions have found that there’s a relationship between procrastination, perfectionism, and action. They help their clients figure out where on the triangle they are currently positioned. This helps them balance all sides of the triangle. They find that often one or two of the three are overemphasized and also that procrastination and perfectionism are combined. I think that’s quite common. I know I have a touch of that. If I don’t begin it, it can’t be wrong can it?

So I challenge myself and you to notice when we are hesitating to do something for fear of making a mistake, or doing it wrong. And if it feels like something that excites us as well as makes us nervous, I encourage all of us to just go ahead and begin.

Keep in mind what Goethe said:

“Whatever you believe you can do, or dream you can – begin it. Boldness has genius, power & magic to it.”

Hello all!

What is your position on New Year’s Resolutions? Many people abhor the thought and especially the word resolution. I have a friend who, for many years, has written herself a letter on New Year’s that lists everything she wants to accomplish that year. She then puts it away safely, not to be perused until the following New Year’s. She claims that when she reads her previous letter everything on her list has been accomplished. I believe that her clear intent (and she is a very focused individual) plus the vision she created combine to powerfully manifest what she desires.

Martha Beck loves New Year’s resolutions. But not the rigid kind that contain “shoulds”, or that are someone else’s idea of our ideal life. No siree, in a recent forum post for her pod of coaches she encourages us to only make resolutions that contribute to “our absolute happiest existence”. To do this, we use our coaching exercises with ourselves, including getting in touch with “our heart’s yearning”, then taking some time daily to make that yearning a reality by picturing our desire fulfilled.

Whatever you choose to do to welcome this new year, I encourage you to take the time to slow down long enough to hear your “heart’s yearning”. This is the basic information you need, the building block to a life of fulfillment.

I would like to wish all you beautiful women a very happy New Year. My vision for all of us is that we continue to create healthy, joyful lives, moving closer and closer to our life purpose. And I invite you to join me in sending light and love to everyone who is suffering in any way, and to keep speaking out about injustice.

Warmth & hugs to you all