Ellen Besso Coaching

“Older than history, older than tradition, older even than legend, and looks twice as old as all of them put together” Mark Twain

Varanasi is one of the oldest living cities on the earth. It has kept it’s religious roots since the 6th Century AD, by isolating politically. The original part of the city is the area near the Ganges where we’re staying. The maize of narrow laneways, some with markets begins right next to the river. Each market area sells 2 or 3 types of things, e.g. jewellery, clothes & silks. We are now comfortable walking about in here now (the laneways range from about 12 feet down to 3 feet) & find it fairly easy to find our way out again (if you get lost you can always head for the river). We haven’t bought anything here though, it’s hot & close in here & it’s just easier to keep moving (moving also helps us avoid being hassled, motorcycles & cow shit)!

Yesterday we took a boat ride on the Ganges at 5:30 am, the perfect time of day. Many tourists were also out: Indian, western, some budhists. There was a sign on the wall “Fortunate are the people who reside on the banks of the Ganga”.

Later in the morning we went to the Burning Ghat, where bodies are cremated (there are over 300 ghats or steps down to the Ganges; some have fallen apart by now). Volunteers work here and the young man we spoke to explained a lot about the process as follows:

- there are 3 areas for burning bodies for rich, middle class & poor people
- ~200 kg. of wood is needed for each person; sandalwood for rich people & banyan for the rest
- cremation here means the soul goes immediately to Nirvana
- no one can cry at a cremation or the soul is held back
- children under 10; pregnant women & holy men do not need to be cremated
- the body is washed, then wrapped in coloured cloth: gold for old men; orange for old women; white for young men & red for young women
- volunteers go around the lanes regularly and bring sick old people to the hospices beside the ghat

It was profoundly moving to see the funeral pyres (really just small piles, not the high ones one sees in the literature; they’re for the rich)…and to see the wrapped body of an old man on the fire. We are so isolated from death in our culture.

Afterwards I made a donation for wood for poor people. I gave the money to a woman who they think is 103 years old. I removed my hat, knelt in front of her and said my name and she blessed me by saying some words and patting my head several times. This woman worked with Mother Teresa in the past and currently still nurses the old who live out their lives in the 3 hospice houses beside the ghat.

As I describe this to you now, the feeling I had yesterday comes back to me strongly… emotional, almost a desire to cry, but not, an opening of my heart and throat chakras I believe.
I feel honoured to have been allowed in this holy of holiest place, to learn & to observe.

We leave Varanasi, this city of living and dying early tomorrow afternoon. I felt I wanted to share yesterday’s experience with you on my blog. Hopefully it will be helpful to you; writing about it is an important part of my process.

Our plane was an hour late leaving Delhi, so we were late arriving in Varanasa. Our driver was not thrilled. We drove through very poor areas near the airport. I noticed that the energy felt quite different here than Delhi. As the traffic built, the driver switched into an impatient, pushing, & yes, honking mode. Once in Varanasi the traffic seemed almost impassable, with hundreds of people walking & driving in cars, motorcycles & richshaws. It turned out that it was the build-up for Dawali, the festival of good luck.

As we neared our destination at the riverside in the old city, the lanes our driver navigated grew narrower & narrower. Then finally we had to get out & walk as the cab was not allowed past a certain barrier which divided the old river section of the city from the rest. We were met by an employee of the Ganpati Guest House, wearing an orange shirt, which came in very handy as we followed him. He carried my medium sized suitcase on wheels on his shoulder, while Don carried his own bag. We had to walk quickly to keep up with the young man; by now it was dark (gets dark early, 6:30 or so). We crossed 2 very busy traffic circles after him; nobody stops, you just dodge between the motorcycles, rickshaws, cars & bicycles. In the excitement & overwhelm of the arrival, I don’t think I realized how dangerous this was that first night, especially for westerners lacking in the street smarts!

As we crossed through the 2nd traffic circle, the power went out in the city, & generators kicked in. There isn’t enough power to feed the city, & there are planned outages every day. We followed the Ganpati employee down increasingly narrow alleyways paved in stone, trying to avoid water & muck. Finally we reached a short alley that was roughly 3-4 feet wide (it varied); it was totally pitch dark. I felt uncomfortable for the 1st time. Then people living on the alley lit a flashlight for us, that felt better. A minute or 2 later we reached our hotel. The workers there were very welcoming; we may have been assigned the best room in the house! Expensive for India but worth it ($35/night); very beautifully & colourfully decorated unlike some of their other rooms.

The next morning at 7 we went out on our balcony & saw the Ganges for the 1st time. It was totally other-wordly…very peaceful with a few tourist boats rowing by…quite wide & curved with a wide sand spit on the opposite side & the town on the curve on our side. As I may have mentioned, Varanasi is the holy city for people of all religions & it is very auspicious to come there to visit, to ride on the river. Many people come there to die & live out there lives near temples with food donations.

The first morning we walked down many steps from our hotel, called a ghat, & went along the walkway by the water as far as the main street. The walkway has a series of ghats over perhaps a mile stretch. The burning ghat is where the bodies are cremated (Don went yesterday, I haven’t been yet. The tourist public is isolated from the ceremony in a separate building now, it wasn’t like that 30+ years ago when he was there. He heard a brief fundraising talk from an official, then made a substatial donation to a very old woman to fund wood supplies for poor people). We then went up & along the street in search of a hat for Don (he lost his in McLeod Gang). That was an adventure, & not of the good kind. We had to dodge traffic again & were bothered constantly by beggars & touts, as we are whenever we set foot out, unless we have an Indian with us. After asking 2 tailors, we finally had to succumb to the services of a tout & Don ended up with a slightly too small baseball cap with a large brim!

Today we took a tour by cab & saw several temples (Hindu & budhist) & an old fort museum. There was a problem at the Budha’s temple; the armed guard accused our driver of picking us up in that town & acting as an unlicensed tour guide & they got in an argument. A young guy tried to intervene (I think, but it was all in Hindi) & the guard pushed him away roughly twice & threatened him with the but of his rifle. It took a while & in the end our driver had to pay a fine of 400 rupees, at least half of his day’s fee (we paid it for him). Thinking about this later & speaking to one of the hotel waiters, we think it was a clear-cut case of baksheesh, or bribe.

Tomorrow we will explore the maize of laneways more & stay away from the busy traffic-filled streets. We have met a few nice people here at the hotel & friendly workers; somehow the fellow-travellers often seem to be just leaving when I meet them!

We have a couple of more days here, then fly back to Delhi, stay 1 night near the airport, then fly out the next morning early to Trivandrum in Kerala, in southern India, where we will spend the remaining 2+ weeks of our trip. Varanasi has been an important stop for both of us; I’ve wanted to visit it for over 30 years. It is a very spiritual place & brings the whole idea of life & death & mortality home to us.

All for now.

Namaste

Our week in India has been very rich, very eventful. In fact it feels like 2 or 3 weeks. We left McLeod Ganj Hillstation last night at 7 pm for an overnight trip back to Delhi to prepare to fly to Varanasi on Tuesday. As mentioned the buses go fast & pass a lot, whether they’re in the city or the country. The 1st part of the journey down from the Himalayan foothills involved many switchbacks (it’s about 1500 metres/4500 feet elevation up there), & buses backing up to allow other buses around corners! The whole trip, both ways was a 12 hr vertical bump as the roads are full of pot-holes in most areas of India. So almost no sleep, which led to a headache & travel insecurities, which come up of course when we’re over-tired & overstressed. I wondered, first silently & tortuously, then aloud to Don, my partner, if I would be up to the demands of Varanasi, what with the burning ghats & all (it’s high karma to die in V & to have your body burnt on a pyre, you’ve likely read about this. Only holy people, children & those too poor for wood are put uncremated into the Ganges).

The dirt & cow dung is getting to me (the holy cows roam the streets). I’m learning to deal with the beggars better…you have to develop a thick skin, & a philosophy for giving/not giving. My latest method is to give intuitively, still favouring women & disabled people. Some of the moms of young babies in McLeod Ganj say “no money, no money, when you try to give them something”. It turns out they want you to buy them powdered milk, which costs 10 – 20 times what you would give in cash, but it’s for a good cause.

A good part of travel is ‘housekeeping’ or ‘trip management’, especially if you move around frequently. You have to have a ready cash flow & make on-going bus, train, plane & possibly hotel reservations, although we winged it for M.G. It all takes time, effort & stamina.

All for now. Varanasi notes in 2-3 days.