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Archive for September, 2007
“I don’t know what the hell is going on, & that’s okay”
Mantra for Square 1, from Finding Your Own North Star
This is what Martha Beck, my coaching trainer wrote in her North Star book. Square 1 is the 1st stage of change; it’s called Chaos!. Stage 1 can be entered in one of 3 ways: Self-imposed; Crisis; or Opportunity of a life-time. Our decision to take the trip to India is the 1st way.
The preparation for our trip hasn’t been all that easy. The Universe has put several hurdles in the way…from problems with our rental house, to health issues, to helping & saying goodbye to a dear friend who is disbanding her home to return to the UK after many years in Canada.
Many, perhaps most of us try to control our lives, & labour under the illusion that we actually have the ability to do so…that we have control….that life can be stable. I believed that for most of my life. When difficulties arose, & thought they were just isolated occurences.
But in reality life is about change. The Chinese believe we are not meant to stay in one emotion all the time but cycle through a wheel of emotions. My Bahai friend says life is about learning to live well with the difficulties we’re faced with.
Perhaps the changes we are facing are a warm-up, an introduction to India. Many authors who write about India say that openness & suspension of judgement is required of us for full appreciation of her charms.
More later…
Fall is with us and the darkening, shortening days are telling us that it is time to slow down and pull into ourselves. It could be an opportunity for spending more time at home with family and close friends, for getting a bit more sleep than we do in the long, bright days, and perhaps for a little inward reflection. Yes, I know our society does not really support slowing down or reflecting. The following 2 messages repeatedly come to us from all directions including the media and the workplace, to name a couple:
This is not the way we are designed, and our body-mind-spirit finds myriad ways to let us know this if we repeatedly “push the envelope”. Energy levels vary from day to day and season to season, and so do our moods. If we insist on pushing ourselves beyond what our True or Essential Self wants, we will likely find as time passes that we suffer from small, then larger ‘ailments’. The increased stress may ultimately take a physical and/or emotional toll on us.
Forcing ourselves to do more and more when our inner self says “no” robs our spirit. We may eventually begin asking “what gives my life meaning?” Questions such as: “do I want to spend my time doing what I’m doing, where I’m doing it and with the people I’m with?” may arise. If you are struggling with certain aspects of your life, try the following exercise. I learned it from Martha Beck during my North Star Life Coaches training in Phoenix last May, but it originated in Japan at Toyota.
3 Minute Retreat: The 5 Why’s
Identify a thought, feeling or belief you are currently struggling with. Write it down on paper. Under this write ‘Why?’ and fill in the first answer that pops into your head. Do not self monitor. Again write ‘Why?’ and note the answer. Continue doing this until you have an answer that provides you with awareness about your situation. (Toyota finds that 5 ‘why’s’ are always enough. Here is an example to help you:
- Thought: I feel very tired today
- Why? I stayed up until midnight last night & had to get up early.
- Why? I had to sew my daughter’s halloween costume.
- Why? I couldn’t do it earlier because I had to stay late at work.
- Why? I have trouble saying no to my boss.
- Why? She may be angry with me & I feel uncomfortable when that happens.
